


Death Wish

by Kingshammer



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Headcanon that wouldn't quit, Holstein - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Little bit of angst, Not Beta Read, Werewolf!Danny, i don't know where this came from, lawstein - Freeform, there's some fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-09 16:13:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 26,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13485144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kingshammer/pseuds/Kingshammer
Summary: Laura has a request for Carmilla, and despite herself, Carmilla just can't say no.Takes place 12 or so years after the events of season 3. I have not seen the movie and therefore none of this adheres to movie related cannon and for the sake of the story, Carmilla remained a vampire.





	1. The Request

“I have something I need you to do for me.”

Carmilla paused at the doorway, eyes meeting Laura’s, flowers grasped limply in her hand, taken aback by the undercurrent of urgency in Laura's voice.

“Yeah?” she asked, eyes searching Laura’s.  The look on Laura’s face wasn’t in the slightest unfamiliar.  But it was a face that usually proceeded some sort of painfully reckless escapade.

Laura patted the space next to her legs on the hospital bed, her expression unwavering.  Carmilla sighed. She entered the room. Before sitting, she exchanged the older flowers for the fresh ones on the table near Laura’s head, tossing the old ones in the trash bin. She moved to sit, but felt Laura’s fingers grab her wrist and tug with surprising strength. Laura’s strength these days…well it varied.

She pulled Carmilla towards her leaned forward to meet her lips in a solid, sweet kiss. Carmilla felt some of the tension in her body dissipate.  Of course it did; Laura knew Carmilla, knew when she needed reassurance. They parted and Carmilla rested her forehead against Laura’s, eyes closed.

“Hey Cupcake,” she breathed out quietly. She felt rather than saw Laura’s smile.

“Hey,” she responded just as quietly. They didn’t move for a moment, savoring the calm stillness between them. Carmilla found herself savoring these moments.  She wanted to freeze time.  If she could spend the rest of her eternity caught up close and quiet with Laura, it would be an eternity well spent.

Laura’s cough, deep and rattling, broke the reverie. It racked her tiny frame violently. Carmilla moved Laura’s head to her shoulder rubbed her back gently. When the coughs stilled, Laura leaned back into her pillow. The moment of quiet was gone and Laura looked worn and reality hit like a hammer.

Carmilla stayed perched on the bed facing Laura, their hips touching, one hand clasped in Laura’s in Laura’s lap. Laura squeezed the hand.

“Hey, I’m okay,” she said gently.  Carmilla realized that the soul crushing heartache threatening to suffocate her must have been showing on her face. She tried to smile; it was weak and touched only one side of her face. Her eyes betrayed sorrow, no matter what type of brave face she was attempting for Laura.

“I need you to do something for me,” repeated Laura after a while. Resolve had returned to her face. This face was the one that fought gods and won.

“Anything,” breathed Carmilla, sure to look Laura in the eye. Because really, was there anything you could deny your dying lover?

“I don’t know for a fact, the doctors haven’t said anything explicitly,” she started.  She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. This was  _hard._ Carmilla waited patiently, still firmly holding Laura’s hand.

“I just, I have this  _feeling,_ and I’ve had it for a few days, and I can’t shake it, and maybe I’m wrong. But I don’t think I am,” Carmilla gave her a more genuine smile. This was her Laura, rambling with an idea, equal parts sure and uncertain, but resolved. Laura paused and smiled back. Hers was sadder, more pained, so full of love.

“I just – Carm, I don’t have much time left,” Carmilla instantly tensed, an argument jumping to her lips. Laura squeezed her hand to silence her; there was that strength again.

“Please Carm. We,” shuddering breath, “we know its coming. And I’m tired, tired in a way I’ve never felt before. I don’t know how to explain it. I might be wrong, but I don’t think so,” she said. Her voice was thick and there was a lump in her throat. Angry tears filled Carmilla’s dark eyes (Laura always thought they looked like a storm when they were like this), but her voice was gentle.

“What do you want me to do?” she asked. Because it was easier to ask that, easier than facing their current reality.

“I need you to find someone. And, I have a feeling you’re not going to like it,” said Laura. Her face showed resolve, but her voice was hesitant. She rubbed a thumb over Carmilla’s knuckles.

“Laura, I’m not leaving you,” said Carmilla, her voice a warning. She knew she’d said “anything” but leaving Laura was not an option. Laura raised her other hand placatingly.

“I’m not asking you to Carm, I don’t want that. Not before...,” she swallowed.

“Carm, after I…after I’m gone, I need you to go find Danny,” she said, with bated breath. Carmilla blinked in momentary confusion. That was a name she hadn’t heard in ten years, at least.

“Danny? Danny Lawrence? Xena the Giant Danny Lawrence? Brought back to life as a werewolf Danny Lawrence?” she asked incredulously. Laura fought the eye roll at Carmilla’s choice of nicknames.

“Yes,  _that_ Danny Lawrence,” she replied patiently.

“Please explain to me why in the world I would ever do that?” replied Carmilla. Laura looked down at their joined hands.

“Because I’m asking you to Carm,” she said quietly. Carmilla paused. There was no answer in the world to this, nothing she could say. Because how can you deny your love when she’s dying?

Laura looked up at her. Carmilla’s eyes squinted sorrowfully, she was shaking her head slowly in confusion.

“Laura, why?” she asked again, softly. Laura heard her lover’s pain and her heart ached over the reality there was nothing she could do to assuage it.

“Carmilla, you are the love of my life. You have seen every part of me and I have lived a fuller and happier life than I could have ever hoped for. I am better for having known and loved you and having been loved by you,” replied Laura. Her eyes were locked on Carmilla’s. Both women had tears in their eyes, unshed. Laura didn’t let them or the growing thickness in her voice deter her.

“The only thing I could ever want is more time with you. But I have one regret and I need to know, before I go, that I haven’t left anything undone. You are the only person who can help me,” she said, her voice turned imploringly. Carmilla sighed internally.  She already knew, with stone cold certainty, that she would do this thing that Laura asked, regardless of the reasoning.

“When everything happened at Silas all those years ago, Danny left and we never heard from her again. And we never did anything about it. I know that your mother changed her, made her a Wolf, and that’s contrary to your nature. But before that, Danny was so good. She was noble. She didn’t deserve what happened to her. I wasn't ever _in_  love with her, not the way I'm in love with you. But I loved her.  Cared about her and I know that she cared about me. She cared about good before she got so twisted. If I could change anything about that time, it'd be letting her leave. I want you to find her and I want you to make sure she’s okay,” said Laura firmly. Carmilla could tell she'd been thinking about this for a long time. It was evident in the almost rehearsed way Laura spoke.

“Why now, after all this time?” asked Carmilla quietly.  Internally, her spirit was violently rebelling. Seek out a  _Wolf?_ Care about a  _Wolf?_

“I thought there would be time to do it later? And, I’m selfish. I can’t go knowing there’s someone out there I may have hurt. Who I did hurt, or hurt because of me,” she replied.  She didn’t know how else to express it. Carmilla’s eyes flashed.

“Laura Hollis, you are the  _least_ selfish person I have ever known,” she said vehemently. Laura just looked at her.

“You don’t have to, you know, rush off to it or anything. But don’t drag your feet either," she paused and then gave a sad, watery chuckle, "Look at me, telling you what to do after I’m,” Laura was barely keeping it together now. She blinked, tears finally falling.

“Just promise me you will? Please?” Carmilla swallowed hard and nodded, her own tears quietly falling from her face.

“Anything for you Cupcake. I’m already the craziest vampire, well, ever. I promise I’ll find her and make sure she’s okay,” replied Carmilla. Laura nodded too.

“Thank you,” she said. She looked up at Carmilla, her chin wobbling. “Hold me?” she asked, her voice barely audible. All her resolve now was gone now her request was accepted. Carmilla wordlessly climbed into the bed with her, pulling the hospital blankets over them. Laura nestled her face into Carmilla’s neck and shoulder, Carmilla rested her cheek against Laura’s head. When she felt tremors through Laura’s body, she squeezed her tighter. Laura’s hands bunched up in Carmilla’s shirt, holding on. Both women cried, silently.

“Carm?” asked Laura after some time. Carmilla was slowly running her hand up and down Laura’s back, kissing her occasionally on the head.

“Yes love?” she replied.

“I…I don’t really remember the first time it happened, there was so much going on. And it wasn’t, it wasn’t like this. What…what’s it like Carm?” she asked quietly. Carmilla squeezed her reassuringly.

“When it actually comes? Its like falling asleep after the longest day. You know it’s there, but when you close your eyes, you’re so tired that you’re…you’re just ready for the rest,” replied Carmilla, her voice breaking, her throat choking on a sob. Laura held onto her tighter.

“That, that doesn’t sound so bad,” she said quietly. Carmilla buried her nose in Laura’s hair, breathing in her scent, memorizing this woman as best she could, fear and sorrow overwhelming her heart, causing tiny flashes of panic.

“What am I going to do without you?” she choked out, her voice barely audible. Laura closed her eyes and swallowed, willing herself to speak.

“You’ll go on. And you’ll live for the both of us. And one day, you’ll be happy. Because more than anything Carmilla, I want you to be happy,” she said.

Laura Hollis died three days later, her hand in Carmilla’s, peace finally relaxing her face. Mr. Hollis held Carmilla under his arm while they laid her to rest on a hillside next to her mother. It was the only bit of comfort she allowed herself, this man that had become like a father. The sun was setting and the air was cool. Carmilla’s eyes stayed dry. For the first time in decades, Carmilla wanted to throw herself back into the earth's dark embrace and never see the light of day – or night – again.

But she didn’t. She’d made a promise. And maybe Laura knew. Maybe that’s why she did it, why she asked it. Carmilla kissed the top of the tombstone and laid a down a single flower. She turned and walked away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A peek into the two years of Carmilla's time alone and her progress forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading Chapter 1 and for even opening Chapter 2. I know it's sad and kinda angsty. But sometimes a headcanon grabs you well, you're just helpless until it's out of your head. Hope you enjoy regardless.

**Two years later.**

Carmilla sipped her vodka quietly.  The fingers of her other hand tapped the wood of the table she sat at. She was in a dimly lit village tavern. Snow blanketed the ground outside. It was night and the place was filled with locals after a long day's work.  Carmilla was in the corner, surveying the room. Pockets of people laughed.  Others sat alone, alone and liking it. Some argued, others recounted stories of the day and of days long since passed.

There was an overwhelming sense of humanity in the air. Carmilla sniffed it with derision. She didn't  _like_  humanity. Humanity was fragile. It was fleeting. It was by definition temporary.

This tavern was just one of the many she'd frequented all over the European countryside over the past sixteen months. She hadn’t set off looking for Danny until six months after Laura's funeral. She couldn't. She was alone again and readjustment took a significant toll. At first, she stayed hidden away in their apartment, surrounded by the remains of her life with Laura. It was beautifully overwhelming and for a time Carmilla stayed stagnant.

But, things changed, as they do. What was initially solace, turned into mockery for Carmilla.  She and Laura had fought so hard. Laura had literally died and come back. Carmilla ( _stupid, stupid, stupid_ she'd chided herself), had thought she would have time, a lifetime, to live with Laura.

Ten beautiful years and then nothing. As the bitterness set in, Carmilla reverted some, she was ashamed to say. When the walls she and Laura had resided in had begun to feel more like a cage than home, she sold all she could (save the parts that reminded her of Laura that she would never let go), and returned to the night.

She fed on fresh, human blood. She didn't kill, not unless her life was in danger (because Laura would never have forgiven her for it). But she hunted, every bit the vampire she'd always been. She feasted on the fear of humans, the thrill of the chase, and the satisfaction of victory that accompanied physical superiority. If people fought back, and they did, so much the better.

Then things, quite against Carmilla's will, changed again; the thrill of the hunt as it was failed to satisfy. Feeding wasn’t enough and she grew blindingly angry when she began to notice this. She tore herself away from humanity with the last bit of self control she possessed. For a time, she was more animal than anything else, all rage and violence. She chose her cat form, because she knew she was going to kill, and fought wild beasts in the woods.  She tore through their flesh with her claws and teeth. She was drunk on blood and pain, both inflicting and receiving. She picked some fights she couldn't win; and she almost lost a few. Bloodlust consumed her soul. Carmilla remembered very little of those excursions, just the primal instinct that pulled her.

It wasn't until a half year had passed that she remembered the promise she'd made to Laura.

 Wild flowers in the woods were what did it. 

She'd been stalking a deer when her feline senses caught the scent on the breeze. And, as smell will do, she was jettisoned through a thick haze of memory, snapping her back. They were the same type of flowers she'd brought to Laura the day she'd made that promise.

For the first time in weeks, months, Carmilla turned back to her true form. She fell to ground next to the flowers and inhaled their sweet scent and cried and cried and cried. She longed for Laura like the drowning for breath. It was a need that clouded everything else. She wanted Laura's sweet smile, and her laugh, and her fire. She missed Laura in her arms, and being held in return. Laura's absence was a physical wound. 

So much of Laura was  _good._ Carmilla was reminded in that moment, next to these flowers blooming in the wilderness, that there was, despite all she felt and yearned for, still  _good_ in the world, because it was a world in which Laura had belonged.

She'd made a promise. She'd contemplated it for hours, lying on that forest floor. No one knew about it. She could never fulfill that promise and no one would know. Except her. Laura, who asked for so little, had asked for one final thing. Carmilla could never deny her anything anyway.

And so Carmilla returned to humanity. She returned to the reality of birth, and death, and happiness, and loss, and heartache, and joy, and dreams. She didn't  _like_ humanity.

It turned out the hunt for Danny was far more compelling than anything she'd attempted for food or pleasure. It was real work. Werewolves were like vampires, things out of legend that no one in the modern world liked to believe existed. Their attacks on humans were certainly more notable than vampire attacks, but were often chalked up to dog or bear attacks (which, Carmilla reasoned, wasn't far off the mark). Carmilla found that tracking a Wolf required a little more ingenuity and actual legwork.

What she didn't anticipate was sixteen months of legwork.  Ten years was a long time to track someone through. After leaving Silas, Carmilla and Laura had settled in Toronto, staying closer to Laura's father. Carmilla, despite every excuse she tried to use to get out of it, knew that she had to go the last known location of her prey.

Silas University looked much the same, although there appeared to be a noticeable lack of super or paranormal activity these days. It filled Carmilla with an unexpected sense of bittersweet nostalgia, which of course she quickly shoved away.

At the first, the registrar was entirely unforthcoming ( _student records are sealed from anyone but the students!_ ). Carmilla tried hard to play nice. For Laura's sake. She really did. 

The poor woman finally relented after being pinned to a wall next to an old student body photo. One in which Carmilla quickly recognized herself and highlighted as much for the woman. The picture, and the brandishing of vampire fangs, won Carmilla Danielle Lawrence's student file (apparently, people did remember the old dean and the fact she'd had a daughter).

The effort was almost wasted entirely and Carmilla was a moment from igniting the file in frustration when a small note, hastily scribbled and stuffed into the back was shaken loose. All that was written was something about a sister school in the Netherlands.  It wasn't much, just an address. But it was in Danny's folder. Carmilla considered it her first real lead.

The following months had plunged her back into the supernatural and other-worldly.  Turns out Europe still had its fill of old world magic. It made sense. The land was old and magic had been strong once. It settled into the land. Even Carmilla had to admit that she's felt a sort of magnetic pull to it, and that when she was Europe, she felt grounded, anchored. Stronger. She was werewolf tracking, but stories of hauntings and unexplained deaths, too suspicious for reality, met her ears too. These she dismissed.

The Netherlands was a decent lead, but it was real work after that. Carmilla hunted down report after report of violent attacks, human or otherwise. Laura's words, about Danny being good, were in the background of her thoughts. Danny was a Wolf, and a new one. Any creature newly turned lacked control, especially without guidance. Hunger was a very real, very blinding need. Carmilla knew this from personal experience. She also knew that a Wolf's hunger was unparalleled and difficult to satisfy for the young. 

Netherlands to Denmark to Poland to Slovakia to Hungary. It was all the same. Vicious animal attacks. Animals and men mauled by something large. Carmilla stalked many a victim at night, but for information, not blood. Mostly. The ones who'd survived their attacks told stories of monsters the police hardly believed. Bears and dogs indeed.

All the work brought her (with a massive eye roll), to Europe’s supernatural motherland. Romania.

Or, as Carmilla remembered it, the area that in its original trifecta, was Moldavia, Wallachia, and Transylvania.

So. Fucking. Cliché.

And so, Carmilla sat, sipping vodka. Waiting. Maybe it was the extra magical nature of the old land, maybe it was just in her head, but Carmilla felt in her bones that she was close.

The night passed slowly. Anyone who thought to give the pale, raven haired, leather clad strange woman attention or company was warned away with a glare and mouth set in an almost snarl. Her eyes tinged red and green. Carmilla knew that her behavior made the locals talk; but if she was as close to her goal as she thought, it wouldn’t matter.

It was almost midnight before Carmilla finally overheard what she'd been waiting for. A local man came in, a look of terror on his face. The barkeep hailed him and he began to sputter out a story. Carmilla saw his clothes were torn up, and he had snow covering him.

_"Peter, what in God's name?"_ Exclaimed the barkeep in Romanian. Peter gulped down the brew provided for him. His eyes were wide with fear and wonder.

_"_ _That_ _monster, in the woods_ _, attacking_ _the livestock_ _._ _It attacked me. I only got away because of my dog! My dog is dead!"_ He exclaimed. A small group had gathered about him to listen. They murmured amongst themselves.

_"But what did it look like?"_ Someone finally asked. Carmilla's eyes narrowed and she leaned forward slightly in her seat.

_"It looked, I guess, like a wolf. But it was not like any wolf I've ever seen. It was enormous, and it was alone. And it seemed, to, understand me? Of course, I-I-I pled with it not to kill me. No normal animal would've paused like that. It was like it was listening,"_ he breathed out quickly, shaking at the memory. The crowd talked, some exclaiming loudly, some fearfully. Finally, a young bear of a man stood up. Carmilla had noticed him for his loudness earlier. He was well and drunk.

_"We can't allow this beast in our woods so near our homes. Who will go with me to kill it?"_ He shouted at the loud crowd. There were murmurs amongst the viewers. Carmilla rolled her eyes, the scene painfully reminding her of some animated Disney movie Laura had made her watch at one time or another.

An old man spoke up, grabbing the youth roughly by the collar and dragging him down.

_"You should not be so eager to chase this creature down boy. There are no such things as regular monsters in our country,"_ he said, his voice firm, though not overly loud. Carmilla's ears heard him clearly. The young man pushed the man's hand aside.

_"Your children's tales don't scare. If it breathes, if it bleeds, then it can die,"_ he said with contempt voice raising. He was met with cheers. The old man shook his head, dejected. Carmilla empathized with him; this boy was an infant, too young and arrogant to see the wisdom of the old man's words. Carmilla knew that feeling; further, she knew he was right about the dark corners of old Transylvania.

In the end, foolhardy youth prevailed, and a group of three young men exited the tavern to their vehicles outside. Carmilla drained her glass, left some money on her table, and like a shadow slid out of the establishment.

It was bitter cold outside. Snow was falling, filling the earth with that muted silence only snow can bring. Carmilla savored it, the quiet of night, the cover of dark. It made her task easier. The young men piled into a truck that had been stripped down to go off-roading into the woods. Carmilla nodded with satisfaction, happy they'd be easy to track.

Carmilla was sure that Laura would disapprove of her letting these boys lead her to the Wolf, but Carmilla felt little guilt. She could likely track a Wolf; goodness knows she'd done it before. But these woods were unfamiliar. These boys, eager to prove themselves, would get the job done faster. Plus, they had the added benefit of being wholly mortal and filled with mortal blood. The best kind of bait was the live kind.

Carmilla spared a glance up at the sky, catching a glimpse of the moon through the clouds. It was one week until the full moon. Carmilla cared little of or for the Wolf's habits, but knew she'd be at her most uncontrolled, most animalistic, most hungry, at the full moon. She would be strong and dangerous. Especially to the humans in the area. Laura would disapprove of the potential violence.

Now that she was so close to finding her, Carmilla couldn't help but notice that her internal monologue regarding the Wolf sounded an awful lot like a conversation with Laura. It didn't hurt as much as she'd have assumed, but it filled her with a sense of homesickness for her lost love.

"I'm out here freezing my ass of for you Cupcake, that better count for something," she muttered to out loud. The truck set off, and with unnatural speed and silence, Carmilla followed.

A half hour of driving had the men well and lost in the deep woods.

Well, lost to Carmilla's mind. They seemed confident of their bearing. Not that being lost was an issue for Carmilla. Getting unlost was easy enough for a vampire.

The men parked the truck and poured out into the snow, looking about them.  The trees were thick in this part of the woods, preventing the deep snow drifts of the open areas. It was terribly dark as well. One man clicked on a flashlight.

_Idiot_ thought Carmilla to herself.  _Much better to trust night vision than to make yourselves so visible_. They each pulled rifles from the truck. Carmilla frowned. Guns always made everything just a bit trickier.

They surveyed the trees and ground, looking for and eventually finding tracks. One grunted this to the others and slowly, they began to walk through the woods.

Carmilla tailed them loosely. They were blissfully unaware of her presence, not realizing the creature who stalked them was at least as dangerous as the one they sought.

Another thirty minutes passed.

Carmilla felt the Wolf on the edge of her consciousness for about ten minutes before the men noticed. This was definitely a vicious immortal, no normal wild animal. Carmilla's body tensed imperceptibly. The men had begun to talk, arguing amongst themselves. They were no hunters and had no discipline.

They missed the low growl. The missed the sound of fur brushing against tree branches. They missed the deep pants of a hungry animal.

They didn't miss the massive wolf shape that snarled as it launched itself upon them from the dark, just outside the flashlight's beam.

The men screamed and more than one gun went off.

Carmilla was momentarily, and entirely in spite of herself, stunned. It'd been several decades since she'd seen a Wolf so close. Danny was already a large human, it stood to reason her Wolf self was enormous. Her fur was a dark red and brown. 

The men were obviously and completely overwhelmed. Carmilla wanted, for the briefest of moments to let them reap the pain their arrogance had evoked, but her inner Laura said absolutely not. It wasn't just for the men; their guns still worked and letting the Wolf take bullets was the opposite of making sure she was okay.

At lightning speed she entered the fray. The men had no clue what was going on. With a leg sweep, one went sprawling onto the frozen ground, his face spared a vicious swipe from claws. Carmilla kicked him hard enough that he rolled away. She stepped in and with all her strength, punched the Wolf in the snout then ribs in quick succession when it tried to rear up. It flinched and landed heavily on its side. Carmilla took the opportunity to punch another of the men in the sternum. He flew backwards, head over heels.

Carmilla whipped around and almost froze. The Wolf was working her way to her paws and the third man, the original youth who'd rallied the other two, leveled his rifle and took aim. Carmilla was on him in an instant. Her hand was wrapped around the barrel and shoving it up and away. She felt the metal burn her skin as the bullet exploded out into the trees and out into the world.

Carmilla wrenched the rifle away and threw it into the dark.

_"Leave, now, run!"_  She yelled at him in Romanian. He stared at her wide eyed, still drunk and now very afraid. Carmilla bared her fangs in a snarling hiss. The man screamed and jumped back. Carmilla helped him with a shove. The men were finally,  _finally,_ high tailing it back in the direction of the truck.

Carmilla turned and had no choice but to deal with her present problem when the Wolf's jaw fastened over Carmilla's left shoulder and upper arm.

She screamed in pain, falling to the ground and rolling with the beast on top of her. She scrabbled to punch and kick any part of it she could, desperate to be free. Finally, in desperation, she grabbed the Wolf's neck, right underneath the jawbone and pinched down with her full strength.

"You fucking dog! For the love of god Lawrence, I'm on your fucking side, let go!" She snarled out, all rage and pain. She was angry. Getting mauled by a Wolf was low on her priorities list. Especially when she wasn't permitted to kill said Wolf.

Her vice grip seemed to be having some effect. She felt jaws slacken and finally, mercifully, release. She kept her grip firm.

"Lawrence, I know you're in that fucking Wolf. It's me. It's Carmilla Karnstein," she ground out. Suddenly, Carmilla could feel and hear the shape beneath her change. Bones rearranged themselves, snapping and cracking, from canine to human. The Wolf shrank down. Paws that were pinning Carmilla down were hands grasping at her shoulders. Fur disappeared and long red, dirty hair fell into Carmilla's face. The panting breath above her quieted.

Clouds parted and bright moonlight pierced through the trees. That and Carmilla's more sensitive eyes saw wild, confused eyes, blue as the ocean on a clear day, staring back at her.

Suddenly it was Danny Lawrence's neck Carmilla's hand was wrapped around, with enough strength to crush it. Except it's not that easy to kill a Wolf.

"Carmilla?" The voice was cracked and strained, rusty from lack of use and suffocating pressure. There was confusion and maybe, hope? Like a sleeper waking from a dream. Disbelief, not hope.

"You're damn right Fido," replied Carmilla harshly, voice lanced with pain. Danny opened her mouth to speak again, but then her eyes rolled up in her head and she collapsed entirely. Carmilla had just enough time to shift so the woman landed next to her.

"You would make me drag your overgrown naked ass out of the fucking woods," muttered the vampire, expelling unnecessary breath. Gingerly, she rolled to her knees and pushed herself up, dusting the snow off of her hands. She glanced down at her shoulder.

"Fuck," she muttered to herself. She glanced down at the collapsed woman with...curiosity ( _not concerned, we're not concerned with Wolves)._ She did feel a small, tiny thrill of triumph. Sure, there was dark blood splattering the clean snow and three witnesses with a tale to tell. But she'd finally,  _finally,_ found her. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny and Carmilla have there first of several chats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the "eff" word. Sorry, not sorry?

Awareness came back slowly for Danny. Her mind was sluggish and she felt all her senses were dulled. It was as though she was underwater and her hearing was muffled.

 

But that wasn’t right. Her hearing was superior. Her ears twitched at the slightest sound, zeroed in on the faintest whispers. Her hearing…her ears weren’t twitching. They were quite still and…not facing forward.

 

Danny took a deep breath. And smelled…nothing? Faint air freshener at best? Where there ought to have been a cacophony of competing smells, there was just air.

 

What. The. _Fuck_.

 

Danny’s eyes snapped open. Color, on the full spectrum.

 

Human form, undeniably.

 

Hackles that weren't there began to rise.

 

Recollection slammed into her- a fight in the woods, three hunters, a woman.

 

No.

 

Not a woman.

 

_Vampire_.

 

Danny let out an involuntary growl at the memory.

 

Danny sat up quickly, but found her left wrist was handcuffed to a metal section of the headboard behind her. She snarled indignantly. Flashes of pain shot through her abdomen; she ignored them.

 

“Morning Red,” drawled a voice from the corner of the room. Damn her human senses; she’d have known Carmilla was in the room immediately as a Wolf. Carmilla lounged in an arm chair, feet kicked up on the corner of the bed. She held a book and a mug and bore a mildly interested expression.

 

“What the fuck, Carmilla?” growled Danny, her voice low and dangerous. Carmilla made a _tsk_ sound and tilted her head to the side.

 

“Is that really any way to talk to someone who just saved your furry ass?” she asked condescendingly.

 

“Saved me? Go _fuck_ yourself. What the fuck are _you_ doing here? What the fuck am _I_ doing here?” spat back the Wolf, her voice still low, still hoarse. _God, she must have been out of human form forever, she can’t even work her damn vocal cords without growling_ thought Carmilla.

 

“Do you remember any words that aren’t "fuck"? You were a Lit TA once weren’t you?” she said aloud. Danny thrashed, trying, unsuccessfully, to lunge at Carmilla.

 

“Why the _fuck_ am I here?” she all but shouted. Carmilla saw in her an unnerving ruthlessness. This woman was not the same as the tall red head that had left Silas all those years ago. That Danny had sadness and confusion in her eyes. This one had murder. It didn't phase Carmilla in the least.

 

“That’s a complicated question. And frankly, given as how last night went, I’ve no desire to answer it at the moment. But I do have a question for you- when was the last time you fed?” Carmilla retorted accusatorily.  An expression passed over Danny’s face. Guilt? Shame? It was gone then, leaving only hate.

 

“What does that have to do with anything?”

 

Carmilla rolled her eyes.

 

“You’re a goddamn werewolf Lawrence. Yet somehow I managed to choke you out of a transformation? Also, you got shot with a regular bullet and it mattered?” she replied, incredulity dripping. “It doesn't take much to recognize a weak, whipped puppy,” she said. Danny’s eyes flashed.

 

“I’m not a puppy and it’s certainly none of your business when I eat,” she said, her voice still a growl.

 

“Please, you’re just out side of your first decade. Talk to me in a century and maybe we'll update your status. And while maybe once it wasn’t my business, it is now,” replied Carmilla. Her voice was steel, resolve unrelenting. Sure, Danny was a Wolf and no amount of malnourishment would kill her. But it made her easier to kill and much more hungry. Much more dangerous. That was not okay. And Laura had stipulated "okay" damn it.

 

“Look, I don’t know or care what’s going on here. But you need to let me go,” said Danny. Her initial adrenaline was wearing off. She looked tired, worn, and much too thin.

 

“Letting a rabid dog out a few days before their favorite night of the month is hardly responsible,” replied Carmilla. Danny snarled.

 

“You have no right to keep me here. What do you want from me Karnstein?” she asked finally. Carmilla considered her for a moment before answering. Danny was right of course; she could hardly imprison the Wolf. And she had a feeling that imprisonment wasn't what Laura had had in mind.

 

“I don’t want shit from you Red. In fact, if it were up to me, I wouldn’t be here. But, obviously, it’s not about what I want. It’s more…what I want for you,” she said, meeting Danny’s eyes and narrowing her own.

 

“So how about this: go take a fucking shower. Redress your injuries. When you get out, there’ll be food. Feed and don't fucking argue with me. And then sleep. And when you're done with that, we can talk more,” said Carmilla. Nothing was phrased as a request or suggestion. Danny narrowed her eyes but said nothing.

 

"Where else do you have to be?" Carmilla finally asked her. Danny's shoulders slumped. Nowhere. She had nowhere to be, nowhere to go. And well, maybe being around someone else, even someone as grating Carmilla Karnstein, wasn't the worst thing in the world, even if it made no sense.

 

"Uncuff me then," she muttered. Carmilla was surprised by the defeated tone.

 

"You going to behave if I do?" she asked. Danny glared and growled.

 

"I'll just break it if you don't," she replied. Carmilla smirked darkly.

 

"You'll lose a hand before you do. That, Puppy, is pure silver, older than the both of us _and_ is the result of melted down church relics. It makes _my_ skin itch, I can only imagine what it would do to you," she said smugly. Danny looked back at the handcuff and saw a piece of gauze wrapped around her wrist, preventing direct skin contact. But she knew, instinctively, Carmilla was right and that she would never be able to break the metal. Carmilla seemed to read the resignation in Danny's demeanor and removed the handcuff without another word.

 

Danny moved to get out of the bed, but realized she was stark naked under the sheet. Her face flushed a color to rival her hair.

 

"Easy Stretch, I won't peek. Even kept you covered for the two seconds applying those bandages took. But I'm nothing if not well trained in the delicacies of maidenly shyness," she sighed laboriously, dutifully turning her back to Danny, pointing to a door opposite the bed. "Bathroom's through there," she said disinterestedly. The bathroom door slammed a moment later.

 

Carmilla let out a sigh of relief, her bravado fading. Her first real encounter with the Wolf was over. She wasn't entirely sure how she felt about it. Over a year of searching had finally brought her here. Being around Danny was surreal. She was so much the same woman from Silas over a decade ago-stubborn, fierce, unrelenting. But she was so different too. Gone was the woman who wore bright pants and led the cavalry into battle. There was no more radiating sense of optimism. This woman fought internal battles now, and fought them alone, and seemed to be losing.

 

Carmilla was disturbed by Danny's all around look of famish and fatigue. There was no way she was eating regularly. How it hadn't yet led to mass killing sprees Carmilla didn't know. Wolves didn't deprive themselves the way Danny seemed to be.

 

Carmilla was also frustrated to be here. Because finding Danny had made Laura's request so much more real. And it reminded Carmilla that the request had been a final wish. And Carmilla missed Laura. Laura would've known what to do with six feet worth of underfed werewolf, she'd have figured it out. Laura would've been gentle, and compassionate, and humane. And humanity was hard for Carmilla.

 

 

 

Danny looked down at her stomach and with one swipe, ripped the bandaging away. A twitch was the only indicator that she felt the pain of the gauze coming away from dried blood. She fingered the injury gently. It was an entry and exit wound that went in at the left of her navel and excited above her right hip. Camilla wasn’t lying, it wasn't done healing yet. Danny sighed; the injury would heal and scar and be lost in the collection of scars her body bore.

 

She spent a much longer time staring at her face in the mirror. It had been months since she'd seen her own face and she wasn't sure she recognized the woman who stared back. This Danny Lawrence had hard eyes, void of joy. Her cheekbones jutted out more noticeably than they had once, malnourishment marring them. There were lines at the corners of her eyes, and a few grey hairs on her head. Those were stress induced she was sure; aging wasn't a luxury anymore.

 

The shower was something close to heaven. Danny had rejected human comforts for a long time and the heat of the shower was making the woman in her ask _why, god, why_ because it was the most blissful thing she'd experienced in a long, long time.

 

The food was equally amazing. The woman in her chimed up again, reminding her that there was probably a civilized way to eat the cuts of raw steak that Carmilla had secured for her. Maybe something about forks and knives? Bare hands sufficed. Camilla was disgusted. Because come on. But the vampire kept her mouth shut.

 

When Danny finally finished eating, she did manage to clean herself up again, humanity finding ways to poke out. Carmilla had provided her clothing that fit, much to her surprise. She didn’t bring it up.

 

To her quiet astonishment, she realized that she was, in fact, sleepy. Bone weary. The bed was comfortable and well- she wasn’t born a werewolf.

 

Before her eyes could flutter completely shut, she forced out one more question.

 

“Carmilla, why are you doing this?” she mumbled. Carmilla sighed, wondering briefly why she was so stuck on the question and wishing she wasn't.

 

“Because I promised I would Red,” she said finally. Danny was fast asleep and didn't hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The full moon arrives and Carmilla begins to see keeping her promise might not be so simple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks! Thanks for the feedback on previous chapters and for reading this one.
> 
> This chapter introduces a few original characters (something I'm always nervous to do). But, it's all part of the headcannon so there's no help for it. Hope you enjoy!

Danny woke up feeling better than she had in years. She didn't move from her position on the bed, still too comfortable to shatter the strange dream she'd stumbled into. Her sleepy brain took stock of what she knew – She was in her human form. She was clean and in a bed. Carmilla was there. Further, Carmilla was responsible for the comfort she currently enjoyed. 

Eventually, she could feign sleep no longer and she slowly sat up. The pain in her abdomen was severely reduced. She removed the bandages; the injuries were closed, still somewhat raw, but almost healed.

"There's more food in the fridge," supplied Carmilla, exiting the bathroom, towel drying her hair. Danny nodded, looking down at her hands, her fingers fidgeting.

"I know you need to eat again," said Carmilla when she saw Danny hadn't moved to get up.

"I...I know, I will. Where are we?" She asked, quietly. The softness of the question peaked Carmilla's curiosity. The Silas University Defender form of Danny was never so quietNot toward Carmilla. It seemed feeding the Wolf made for a much tamer Danny.

"Romania, an inn some miles southeast of the town I found you in," she replied.

"How did we get here?" Asked Danny.

"Carried you out of the woods. I have a car I've been using. Easier for traveling with gear. I drove us here," said Carmilla levelly.

"How  _did_  you find me?" Asked Danny next. Carmilla suppressed an eyeroll, not wanting to play 20 Questions. She knew where it would lead. On the other hand, her inner Laura pleaded  _patience_ and  _empathy._ Damn that voice.

"I had to go back to Silas first off. Started with your grudgingly-given student file. I saw a note for the Netherlands. Found out that sister Silas is even more fucked up than Austria's, even if they don't have a vampire for a dean. After that, I started following Wolf sightings and attacks." Danny glanced up sharply. Her gaze betrayed worry, and fear.

"There are others. Packs still roam; how did you know you were tracking me?"

"Because I know a little about you Red and I'm old enough to recognize patterns," snapped Carmilla irritably. Almost immediately she grunted and held up her hands in a placating way before Danny could respond back, towel tossed over her shoulder. She winced visibly, and quickly dropped her left arm, grabbing at it just above the elbow, but spoke before Danny could comment on it, Carmilla plowed on.

"I'm sorry. It's been a long few years. It took me about a year and a half to find you," she said apologetically. There was sincerity in her voice and that peaked Danny's interest. The Carmilla she knew didn't apologize, not to her. The vampire continued.

"At first I wasn't sure if you'd find a Pack. But the more I looked the more I noticed reports of isolated, vicious attacks, mostly on wildlife and livestock. And occasionally the lone hiker or adventurer. They all seemed to survive and when the first three I talked to described a giant red Wolf, well, I figured that's where I should place my bet. I lost you for a while in Poland. There was a sudden age gap I didn't anticipate. The first people who remembered you had seen you over a decade ago. The newer ones, in the last three. Something like five or six years of nothing. You picked possibly the most cliché place in Europe to end up by the way," finished Carmilla. She went to the small fridge herself and pulled out raw cuts of meat and placed them on the table. She placed a knife and fork next to the plate and looked at Danny, eyebrow raised. Danny blushed slightly.  _Point taken._ The tall red head stood from the bed and went to the table.

"I didn't really plan on coming here, it just sort of happened," said Danny after a few mouthfuls. It was delicious, even if it was cold.

"This country has a way of calling things toward it," was all Carmilla said about the supernatural pull she felt toward old Transylvania. More silence.

"I tried hard not to kill," Danny whispered. Of anything Carmilla had stated, the observation that she'd done her best to spare humans, that Carmilla associated her with the attempt to preserve life, meant more than anything else.

"It's difficult to ignore new instincts when you get made a monster. Wolves with decades more experience than you have far less control. Not that there's much desire for control, usually," replied Carmilla, shrugging her shoulders and instantly regretting it. Danny eyed her suspiciously.

"What's wrong with your shoulder?" She asked seriously. Carmilla looked up at her, annoyed.

"Clifford the Big Red Dog tried to see if vampires made decent snacks," she said, voice dripping with sarcasm. Danny grimaced, guilt and shame worrying lines into her forehead.

"Shit, fuck, I'm sorry. I don't even, I don't really remember," she stammered. The obvious remorse on her features caused Carmilla to wave her hand.

"Don't worry about it, it'll be fine. And it's certainly not the worst I've had. I just wish Wolf bites were as delicate as vampires'," supplied Carmilla, arrogant smirk sneaking out. Danny managed to roll her eyes.

"I've seen many a gashing vampire bite. Your kind aren't as dainty as the movies pretend," she said.

"Barbarians, those sorts. There are neater ways to play with your food," supplied Carmilla indifferently, shrugging her good shoulder. Danny blushed slightly at the unexpected innuendo.

"Why hasn't it healed yet?" She asked. Carmilla quirked an eyebrow at the younger woman, expecting some sort of joke at her expense. None came, just earnest blue eyes boring into her curiously. Carmilla's own eyes widened slightly.

"Oh, you really don't know do you?" She said. Danny shook her head.

"Injuries incurred from other immortals have a little more kick than their human counterparts. A bite or a scratch from you isn't enough to kill me – especially considering our age difference – but it takes longer to heal and hurts like a bitch. How do you not know that, it's pretty much monsters 101?" she replied. This was basic lore and it surprised her Danny didn't know it. Concerned her even. Danny's eyes flashed.

"I didn't exactly get a well-rounded "creatures of night" education when I turned," she retorted. She did allow her face to soften when she said, "I really am sorry though."

"It's fine Red, don't sweat it," she said, her inner Laura cheering her forgiveness. Danny finished her food and returned to the bed, sated. There was silence between the immortals, but it was absent the usual murderous tension. Danny glanced out the window; it was sunset. Carmilla followed her line of sight and turned a hard gaze back to Danny.

"How's your Wolf control these days? And for the sake of discussion, lets blame this," gestured to her shoulder, "on a healthy dose of confusion at a vampire on your side."

"It's fine. I can resist the change if I have to. I'm still me," she said. She tried to sound strong and resolute. Carmilla bore a look of increased suspicion.

"You mean the hungriest, strongest version of you right? The one that bays at the moon and is all pent up energy?" Danny heaved a sigh and nodded.

"It's not easy, obviously," she began, but Carmilla held up a hand to silence her, contemplating silently. She seemed to come to a decision and nodded to herself.

"Let's say I believe you, because I'd hate to offend your canine constitution. But let's also agree you were in a rough spot last night. I have no bank vault connections, so a trip to the middle of the fucking woods for full moon?" She asked, already dreading the cold. Danny contemplated her words. Pride and sensibility were dueling, each fighting hard. She didn’t answer right away, instead choosing deflection.

“Carmilla, why do you care? Why do any of this? And don’t tell me we’ll talk later or I’m gone walk and you'll never find me again,” she threatened.

“Isn’t it enough I’ve done it?” asked Carmilla, her voice tight.

“Not even fucking close. It’s been twelve years. All of sudden you show up and I’m supposed to just go along with it? You fucking  _hate_  me. I killed your sister. And last I checked, I hated you too. So thank you, for food and patching me up. But you, of all people, don’t get to sweep in and suddenly start telling me what to do and question  _my_ control,” she asked. She was insulted Carmilla assumed she’d turn into a mindless Wolf at the full moon. Insulted Carmilla had the nerve to make any assumptions at all. Carmilla had no clue what the years away from Silas had been like.

“It’s not an easy answer,” replied Carmilla after a while. She knew she’d been avoiding this, steering Danny away from this line of questioning but she should’ve known it’d never last.

“What makes you think easy is what I want? I know better than to expect easy,” spat Danny. She was angry, a fire building up. Carmilla set the palms of both hands down on the table, fingers spread, stabilizing herself.

“It has to do with Laura,” Carmilla said quietly, calmly. The fire in Danny sputtered, unsure.

“What about Laura?” she asked trepidation painting her voice. Of course she’d been aching to ask after the woman, but how do you bring up an old, ill-ended rivalry with a vampire? Carmilla looked up at Danny, unshed tears in her eyes.

“Red…Danny, she…she died,” said Carmilla. It was a painful, cracked whisper that blew the fire in Danny completely out. She was dumbfounded. Because Laura dead didn’t happen. She fought death in all its disguises. Death did not touch Laura no matter how much she flirted with it.

Danny went very still, letting the words seep into her. She was sure she'd heard wrong. But there again, Carmilla would never have left Laura's side. Not for anything. And yet, here was Carmilla, alone.

“How, when?” she asked when she remembered how words worked, disbelief etched into all her features. She felt numb all over. Carmilla stared out the window, unable to look at Danny any longer.

“Two years ago. She got sick and...she never got better.” Carmilla’s voice was low and raw and the words cost her everything. 

“Carmilla, I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry. So sorry,” she said still numb. Her heart began to ache, dimly at first. It was sorrow, knifing her, working its way in. Carmilla nodded.

“She fought really hard. Before she left, she asked me to find you. To make sure you were okay,” she explained softly. Danny had never heard such pure agony speak so quietly. Her eyebrows furrowed in thought.

“So you’re here because she asked you to be,” Danny replied dully. A charity case then? She couldn’t keep all the bitterness out of her voice. Bitterness because Laura was gone, always gone and there was nothing Danny could do. Nothing Danny could ever do, even a decade ago.

“I’m here because I love-loved Laura. And she loved you," Danny looked at the vampire. She wasn't sure if it were the words or Carmilla's sincerity that startled her more. "It wasn’t perfect, but even after you turned, she still cared. She had a knack for ignoring the ugly in people. She never wanted you to leave Silas,” said Carmilla. She took a shuddering breath. Danny half smiled at her words.

“I can’t- we don’t need to talk anymore about this right now. Eat more, get some rest. I'm going to go out for a few hours. Be here when I get back, please? I don't want to run you down again,” said Carmilla hoarsely. She looked back at Danny, begging her silently to  _please, don’t ask anymore._

_Please, just let me try._

_Please, it’s all I have._

_Please, don't send me away._

Danny nodded. "Yeah, I'll be here," and snagging her jacket on the way out, Carmilla was gone.

Carmilla was gasping when she'd made it outside. It was getting dark again, the stars were coming out. She couldn't stay in the room, surrounded by Danny's sorrow, her sorrow, and Laura's glaring absence. It was too much. She'd been doing...better. Hunting for Danny had distracted her aching heart, given her something that felt suspiciously like purpose. But she needed a break. And so she wandered, breathing in the fresh air that she didn't need, letting the darkness hide quiet tears.

The moon was well up by the time Danny and Carmilla found themselves truly in the middle of the fucking woods a few nights later. Danny was visibly tense, sweating despite the cold. She was entirely aware of herself. But the moon was like a lover she hadn't seen in a long time. It caressed her skin, welcomed her, invited her to shed her human form, to let the Wolf out. It was like the human side of Danny was just a disguise, easy to cast away.

Carmilla and Danny had spent the last few days quiet in each other's company. Danny grieved for Laura quietly. Carmilla was disgruntledly surprised to realize that she didn't hate having company. Even more surprising was that she didn't mind Danny's company. They didn't speak overly much, but their silence was companionable. Danny stopped prying into Carmilla's motives.

"You hanging in there Red?" Asked Carmilla uncertainly as they walked.

"I'm fine," grunted Danny.

"You sure? Because I'm pretty sure that you shouldn't be sweating in negative ten degree weather."

"I said, I'm  _fine."_ She wasn't lying, not entirely. In the days she'd spent with Carmilla, she'd rested and fed more than she had in years. Her confidence was stronger than it usually was.

"Look, I just want to know if you're suddenly going to sprout fur and start licking your-" Danny spun around and an in a motion so swift Carmilla couldn't track it, had the vampire pinned against a tree with one hand.

"Do you really think antagonizing me helps?" She snarled. The previous night's clouds were gone and Danny was thrown into dark and light relief; the moon sympathizing with her inner struggle. Her eyes weren't blue anymore, but amber. Her teeth seemed sharper. Heat was pouring off her.

"Let go Red," said Carmilla firmly. Danny stayed still a moment, but then slowly released her, though her glare was unwavering. Carmilla straightened her jacket. Truth be told, Carmilla had never seen  _anything_ like the current level of control Danny was displaying; she couldn't help testing its limits. Werewolves transformed on full moons, whether they willed it or not. It had never been negotiable information in the 300 plus years of Carmilla's existence. 

They started walking again.

"There's a place up here, a rock outcropping, that would be good shelter," said Danny, resuming her walk. They arrived a quarter hour later. Carmilla sat down under the rock outcropping, her leather pants protecting her against the cold and wet of the snow. She withdrew a battered pack of cigarettes and pulled one out with her lips. She gazed at the end of it almost lazily before a sliver of smoke rose through the air, the glowing red tip lighting up her fingers. She took a long pull and blew it out with a relieved sigh.

Danny was pacing, distracted. It's like her skin was itching, all pent up energy. Changing would make it so  _easy._ It'd let her run off the energy, be free. The moon called and she wanted so badly to call back. To sing out, even if no one sang back. It was a bittersweet thing, running without a pack when her instinct so desperately demanded it.

Carmilla looked at her, contemplating. The woman in front of her was so different than the one she'd known (even if only limitedly) in school. She was a mystery now, full of a decade of unknown experience as an immortal. But she'd already adopted the look of one who had seen centuries, wisdom beyond her years.

"All antagonizing aside- how is it you can stand not to change?" Asked Carmilla. "I've never heard of a werewolf who didn't change at the full moon. And before you ask, yes, I've met a fair number of your folk." Danny didn't pause her almost manic pacing.

"Don't tell me you don't have any theories," said Danny. She removed her coat and exhaled with the relief of cold air on her skin.

"Oh and what makes you think I do?"

"A decade of life with Laura." Carmilla's eyes widened and she pulled the cigarette from her mouth.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" She growled. Danny glanced at her raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing offensive. I would never," she started, eyes betraying hurt. Carmilla searched that expression and her inner Laura told her that she was being unfair. Carmilla returned the smoke to her mouth and shrugged a shoulder.

"What I meant is that Laura could never leave a mystery alone. And neither could you, not really," said Danny. Carmilla looked thoughtfully at her.

"Well if I had to venture a guess, I'd say that it's because something makes you different," she said. She put the butt of the cigarette out in the snow.

"Make you a detective," said Danny sarcastically. Carmilla rolled her eyes.

"I'm not wrong apparently. So what is it that makes the late Danielle Lawrence so different from other werewolves I wonder," pondered Carmilla out loud. She felt the inner Laura cheer her on for trying to get to know Danny. Carmilla brushed it off on boredom. Really what was there to know about Danny Lawrence? She was an overgrown child with a hero complex. She got tangled up in a girl who was tangled up in a vampire who was tangled up with a god-Mother who was tangled up with a lover who was tangled up in the underworld. Danny Lawrence got killed. And then...Danny Lawrence...got brought...

"Mother," spat Carmilla vehemently. Danny laughed mirthlessly.

"Right. Tell me, how many of the others came back as Wolves?" Asked Danny. She was so agitated. She was practically gnashing her teeth. Carmilla thought for a moment, her eyes slowly widening.

"Not a one," she whispered. Her bewildered expression turned to a smile, "We're all vampires, that I know of at least. Except you. I've never heard of a Wolf who got turned after dying either. You are a mystery aren't you?" Danny snorted.

"Just a Wolf Carmilla. A rabid dog, wasn't that the phrase you used?" Asked Danny, an edge to her voice.

"Old habits are hard to shake Red. I've known many a Wolf that deserve nothing better than a bullet to the back of the head," remarked Carmilla. Danny shrugged.

"Can't blame you there," muttered Danny. Carmilla looked at her curiously but Danny didn't elaborate.

"So how is it you're so much more put together tonight of all nights, but the other night you were just, an animal?" Asked Carmilla. It came out just a shade too harshly to be conversational.

"Look, I wasn't in a great place that night. I don't need to explain myself to you," Danny snarled back. Her fists were clenched and shaking, her breath fogging in angry huffs.

"No I suppose you don't," replied Carmilla. Danny resumed her pacing and the pair didn't speak for a long time. Their rock outcropping was in a clearing and Carmilla used the opportunity to stare up at the stars. The stars were always welcome, a comfort and constant. She lost herself in them, silently naming constellations.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," said Danny after hours had passed. It around five in the morning. Sunlight was coming soon and Danny could feel the hold of the moon yielding ever so slightly. Carmilla tore her gaze away from the sky and looked at the red head. Danny was staring off into the dark, finally still of her incessant pacing.

"Don't worry about it Red," said the vampire. Danny shook her head looking disappointed in herself. Carmilla wasn't sure why but it bothered her. Once upon a time, the only person whose sour moods bothered Carmilla were Laura's. She stood up and stretched her spine out and trod over to Danny.

"I have thick skin. But don't expect me to apologize for calling you a dog, Pup. Your teeth were fastened on my shoulder," she said dryly, smirking a little. Danny opened her mouth to respond but- 

A howl cut through the cold air, the first sound they'd heard aside from themselves in hours. It was met with two, three more howls.

 Danny's eyes grew wide as she looked out into the darkness of the forest toward the sound. Pure terror infected her eyes and features. She reached out and grabbed Carmilla's forearm.

"Red it's probably a regular-"

"Who did you talk to in Poland?" Interrupted Danny, voice quiet.

"Have you lost your mind, what does that have to do with anything?" Responded a very bewildered Carmilla.

"That is not a regular wolf pack. Did you tell anyone you were looking for a lone Wolf while you were in Poland?" Asked Danny, deadly serious and growing panicky.

"Well I don't really care for Wolves as a whole and I was just looking for one in particular," replied Carmilla, her voice uncertain.

"Fucking shit. Fuck. We have to go, now," said Danny. Carmilla pulled her arm from Danny and grabbed the tall redhead by the shoulders.

"What the fuck is going on Lawrence?"

"Run with me now and I will explain everything later," replied Danny.  _If we survive._ Carmilla nodded.

"We need to change," said Danny. Carmilla squeezed her grip.

"No fucking way," said Carmilla.

"Look- in a few seconds, part of a pack of violent, vicious werewolves who  _haven't_ proven they have control during the full moon are going to come crashing through the trees and they will kill us. I can't move as fast as a human. Carmilla,  _please_ ," replied Danny firmly and desperately. She was working hard to stuff her fear away.

"Don't make me regret this," replied Carmilla, she turned and leapt forward and landed on all fours, an inky black panther gleaming in the moonlight. A moment later a russet colored Wolf stood beside her, shaking out its fur. Both sets of ears perked at the sound of heavy footfalls in the drifts, coming toward them quickly. They began to run.

The run was everything Danny needed. This felt right, this felt  _free._ The explosion of scents assaulted her nose as she streaked past trees, reveling in the power of her legs as they propelled her forward. She was acutely aware of the giant feline next to her. Strong and agile as Danny was, she had nothing of the smooth, slinking grace the panther displayed. Carmilla was water flowing over the snow-covered land.

Carmilla sensed the Wolves as they closed in behind her and Danny. There were four, two giving chase on the heels, two sprinting forward to flank. Carmilla was alarmed by the sheer power these creatures radiated. They didn't just have the full moon; these Wolves were old and strong.

Danny was ready for the Wolf that burst out through the trees to her left. She simply ducked and let it sail over her to land, paws over tail in a heap on the snow. The Wolf on Carmilla's right burst the trees and was met in the air as panther claws fastened around its neck. They landed on the ground rolling, snarls and hissing piercing through the still of the night.

Danny's Wolf recovered and they clashed, battling tooth and claw. She went for the thing's mouth aiming bites at the soft skin around its teeth. She latched on to the creature's upper lip but it gave a loud yelp and violent jerk of its head, ripping the lip rather than be caught. The copper taste of blood that flooded Danny's mouth enflamed her. She lunged in aiming for the neck.

Carmilla was entirely too agile for the Wolf, although it had her on strength. Within a few seconds of their clash, the steel grey Wolf was missing an eye. It fastened heavy jaws around Carmilla's foreleg, but it was rewarded with a large gash on its side from razor sharp claws. The Wolf yowled in pain. Carmilla threw herself onto its back, latching on. It thrashed about trying to dislodge her.

Danny's Wolf was old and strong. She knew it instinctively. It was as much at home in his Wolf shape as any and he was bigger than Danny. They struggled. His heavy paw struck and slashed Danny across the snout and nose. Danny used a back paw to open up a cut on his soft underbelly. His teeth bit down hard on her ear and Danny howled her pain.

Carmilla's sharp panther claws eventually made their way to her Wolf's neck and soft underside of his mouth. She tore with all her strength, ripping the flesh and immediately moving to reclaim more. It turned to snap at her and missed. Faster than lightening, her teeth sunk into the creature marred neck, latching on with back claws finding and slicing the soft stomach. The Wolf howled a death howl, eerie and full of agony. Its blood spilled from around Carmilla's mouth to splatter on the cold snow, steaming where it struck and painting the ground dark red.

Carmilla wasted no time in abandoning her opponent to turn to Danny's. The russet colored Wolf had freed her ear and was scrabbling and snarling with the other Wolf at the jaws, front paws pushing and scraping. Carmilla struck the enemy Wolf in the side with enough force to crack ribs. It went sprawling into the blood-soaked snow. Before it regained its balance, Danny's jaws closed over his open mouth, fastening onto his lower jaw and slamming down. Danny gave a violent twist in one direction; the jaw bone shattered at the joint. A violent twist in the other direction and it was torn from his face and from Danny's jaw, landing feet away in the snow. The Wolf gurgled and gasped and choked on his own blood.

The russet colored Wolf and the black panther made eye contact and bounded back into the trees. There had been four Wolves and waiting for the last two was low on the priorities list.

Victor waited a few moments, keeping Dimitri back with him. The sun as rising and their prey was desperate to flee and would be moving fast. Night was fading into a bleak, grey sunrise.

Finally, Victor allowed Dimitri to approach the fallen bodies in the snow. Two men lay, bloody and torn, where two wolves had been. Jon and Kristopher were dead, their human-seeming remains a testament.

"You should have let me go after them Victor," snarled Dimitri, bloodlust in his eyes and heart.

"We will get our chance and they will pay for this. Gregor has no more patience to extend the Lawrence girl," said Victor. If he was sad for the death of his brothers, he let none show on his face.

"What Wolf aligns themselves with a vampire. The bitch reeked of the undead. No heartbeat, all metal and malice," snarled Dimitri. Victor turned away from the bodies, beckoning his remaining companion. No burials today.

"She's no ordinary Wolf to be sure. And you yourself are overcome with malice regularly. But that's no ordinary vampire. That's the one that Adrianus wants, the Karnstein girl. Gregor will want to know the two are allied," said Victor. With some sadness, akin to homesickness, he felt the pull of the moon wane completely as the sun established its dominion over the day.

"How can you be sure it's her?" Victor's grin was humorless.

"A covenless vampire in the shape of a large black panther and red-green eyes? Tell me, how many of those do have you had the good fortune to meet?" Dimitri's silence was answer enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath of the fight in the woods. Danny tells Carmilla what exactly happened to her in the time she was away from Silas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks. Thanks for reading thus far. Just wanted to give some trigger warnings for PTSD, panic attacks, and referenced torture in this chapter.

Danny was an animal in full fledged panic. She followed Carmilla back to the town they’d been staying fighting the urge to flee rather than resume human form. Carmilla was having none of it.

When the town’s limited skyline came into view, Carmilla could feel the hesitancy rolling off the Wolf. She’d turned back and saw Danny drawn up, tail tuck slightly between her legs, eyes glancing at the distance and back at Carmilla, paws shifting nervously.

When Carmilla made eye contact with her, growling slightly, the Wolf glanced at from the way they’d come and back at Carmilla, whining. Carmilla jerked her panther head to the town. Danny still fidgeted nervously. She just wanted to  _run_ _;_  but something was compelling her to heed Carmilla’s leadership.  _That’s something,_ thought the vampire, although what exactly “it” was she couldn’t name at the moment.

 The sky was getting lighter.

Carmilla took a chance and transformed back to her human shape. There was a mild sense of dejavu, staring back at Wolf Danny.

“Red, we can’t just run. We have shit we need to grab,” she started, as calmly as she could. She hurt. Her forearm was bleeding from a bite and her body was sore from the fight. They needed to grab their belongings and go. They wouldn’t survive another attack in their current state.

Still Danny whined, unsure, torn between the town and just getting out, running, like she always had. Carmilla held out her hands placatingly, palms open in the least threatening gesture she could manage.

“Danny, I’m not asking to stay put. Just to get our stuff. Trust me. I’m not going to hurt you,” she said slowly. Carmilla wasn’t sure why she felt the need to tack on the latter, but it felt right. The Wolf’s resistance was thawing.

“Danny, I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Do what I say,” said Carmilla, issuing the command. There was a tense moment of eye contact, but finally Danny shifted.

Danny stayed down on her hands and knees, breathing heavily, eyes zeroed in on the ground. Carmilla took a wary step toward her.

“Danny, we need to move. We’re not going to stay here. Can you move with me to the car?” asked Carmilla cautiously. Danny kept her eyes down, shaking slightly with the tension in her body.

“Danny, look at me,” commanded Carmilla firmly. The Wolf glanced up and her eyes locked in on Carmilla’s, waiting. Carmilla saw fear and panic.

“We’re getting our things and going. You're going to follow me to our room and then we’re getting out of town. And it's going to be okay.” Carmilla was no longer asking for permission. She was telling Danny what to do. Something more primitive in Carmilla knew the direct commands were exactly what Danny needed. Danny was scared and unsure and need someone to follow, someone to trust.

Finally, Danny nodded. Carmilla placed her hand on the taller woman’s elbow and pulled her to her feet.

Ten minutes later, Carmilla was peeling out of the small town driving as fast as she dared. Danny was sitting shotgun, her resolve completely shot. She’d fought as much as she could for the day and if Carmilla had to venture a guess, the woman had overreached. Danny sat with a hood pulled over her face, eyes screwed shut, and left leg nervously bouncing. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest, and Carmilla suspected that if she could pull her knees up to her chest and still fit in the tiny car, she would be doing just that. Her heart pounded like a hammer to an anvil in Carmilla’s sensitive hearing.

After an hour of driving, Carmilla’s internal struggle, and no sign of improvement from Danny, Carmilla reached out a shaking, tentative hand and placed it gently on Danny’s thigh.

Danny flinched and cowered back.

Like an abused dog.

A rush of cold hatred lanced through Carmilla’s undead heart. People weren’t born afraid, they were made to feel that way. Conditioned to it. And someone had made Danielle Lawrence-an honest to god mother fucking werewolf-afraid. And a sense of protective fury Carmilla didn’t know she possessed (for  _Danny_  of all people) consumed her. She pulled over in the early morning sunlight.

“Danny, look at me,” she said calmly, firmly. Carmilla moved her thumb on Danny’s thigh, a small gentle, reassuring pressure. Danny’s eyes stayed shut.

Danny’s mind was roaring in unrestrained panic. Everything,  _everything,_ she’d tried so hard to avoid for the last five years had found her. And it was just too much. Memories hurt too hard and her body and mind were transported back, back to pain, and darkness, and fear, and loneliness, and to all consuming hopelessness.

The roar in her heart and ears made no sense. It was all anguish and panic. The outside world was a non-concept, her body ripped back and firmly placed into five years of  _hell._

She wasn’t sure what began to pull her back (or how long it took to come back), but she did know that the first thing she was aware of was a firm pressure stilling her piston-fire leg. Next was the scratch of Carmilla’s thumb against the fabric of her pant leg.

Carmilla.

Carmilla was here. Carmilla hadn’t been there seven years ago. No one had been there seven years ago. No one had been gentle or reassuring, not in the way Carmilla was in this moment.

Danny Lawrence and Carmilla Karnstein had not been friends, not even allies by the end. But Danny had treated Carmilla…fairly? She hadn’t succeeded in any attempts to kill her, and really, for Laura’s sake, she hadn’t committed to trying.

Laura.

Laura, for whom Danny endured so much. She was sunlight in dark places. She’d seen the best in everyone around her. Danny had loved Laura. Only love can compel you to drag your romantic rival back from the brink. Only love lets you behave selflessly.

Danny came back slowly to the sound of Carmilla’s voice.

“Breathe now, in through your nose, out your mouth. You’re okay Danny, nothing’s going to hurt you. You’re okay. Just breathe,” she was saying. She sounded steady, and relieved.

And Carmilla was relieved to see flashes of recognition in Danny’s eyes as they fluttered open. Finally, Danny let out a slow breath and her heart rate was slowed.

“You got it?” asked Carmilla. There wasn’t the barest hint of rebuke or jest in Carmilla’s voice, just concern. Genuine, honest concern. Danny swallowed and nodded. Carmilla nodded too.

“Okay,” she said, pulling the car back on to the roadway. She was pulling her hand away from Danny’s leg but was surprised to feel it grabbed firmly by Danny. Carmilla glanced over at the Wolf, but Danny was staring obstinately out the passenger window. Carmilla squeezed her hand reassuringly and didn’t pull it away.

"For the love of god hold still Karnstein," snapped Danny. They were in a small, seedy motel in Bucharest. Danny had suggested the big city to disappear into. It also helped that Danny had what few human possessions she owned stored in an abandoned building in the city.

They'd been on the move since the fight, not daring to stop, even for injuries. They'd escaped death and weren't taking chances.

Danny was busy stitching a gash in Carmilla's forearm, flesh opened up by Wolf teeth. The new hole in Danny's ear had already been sown up, scrapes on her face and nose cleaned.

"Well maybe if you hurried it up I wouldn't have so much trouble sitting still," snarled back the vampire. She drank a long pull from a whiskey bottle clutched in her other hand.

"If you sat still I'd be able to get it done faster," rejoined Danny, far too past irritated to provide pleasant bedside manners  _and_ a decent stitching job. Carmilla bit back a reply and Danny was done a few minutes later.

"Thanks," huffed the vampire grudgingly. She swallowed more alcohol and offered the bottle to Danny wordlessly. Danny almost declined before an internal  _fuck it_ encouraged a long pull of her own. The whiskey burned the entire way down and the heat of it cleared Danny's head.

"You owe me an explanation Pup," said Carmilla when the bottle was handed back to her. With a groan she perched herself on the bed, back relaxing against the headboard. Danny opted for a rickety chair and kicked her feet up onto the bed.

"Don't call me that," responded Danny automatically. Carmilla narrowed her eyes.

"I've earned a few nicknames after the shit in the woods. That's twice in two days I've been bitten by a Wolf," said Carmilla, her voice steely.

"Well the first wasn't entirely not your fault," replied Danny lamely.

"Lawrence," snapped Carmilla. Danny sighed. Carmilla was right.

"What's your experience with werewolf packs?" Asked Danny haltingly. Carmilla leaned her head back thinking.

"I've come across them more than once. They're a territorial lot. Different packs occupy different regions of Europe. There were a couple of werewolves at Silas over the years.  Mother tended to leave them alone. Other immortals make poor sacrifices and are all around difficult to deal with," she said pointedly. Danny rolled her eyes.

"What else?" Carmilla shrugged, exasperated.

"What else Lawrence, I don't know. A lot of the mythology is accurate. Silver sucks and a silver bullet can be a death sentence at worse, extremely debilitating at best. You can change at any point if you're strong enough, but the full moon is the werewolf's strongest night of the month. What else, what else... you take you steak rare?" Supplied Carmilla.

"Warm and raw, but I settle for rare sure," said Danny sarcastically. Carmilla glared at her but offered the bottle of alcohol to her regardless. Danny leaned for it, took a quick swallow and passed it back.

"Well that's all correct, but there's more. Some packs are old. Ancient old. And they take being a Wolf very seriously. Leaders of the old packs vie for control of younger Wolves. They don't tolerate young Wolves who run around packless and unchecked. It's not about human safety, the older packs don't care about coexistence really. They attack and kill indiscriminately. It's more about remaining undiscovered for them," replied Danny. This was a difficult conversation, she kept her eyes downcast from Carmilla.

"I take it you, Puppy, have met said packs then?" Replied Carmilla. Danny nodded.

"It was in Poland. I was discovered by the pack in that region. The oldest pack there, probably in Europe. I had been turned for around two years at that point. I changed at the moon only in those days. I wasn't strong enough to try it otherwise and I didn't want to. But when I let the Wolf out, it wanted to hunt  _everything_ , kill  _everything_. I tried hard not to of course, but my actions attracted this packs' attention anyway," said Danny, looking off as though over a great distance.

"It wasn't a great experience was it," stated Carmilla, already knowing the answer. She knew the look in Danny's eyes. She knew her eyes looked the same; people who had seen some shit and were changed by it.

"You have understatement down to an art," said Danny with a small smile.

"What happened?" Asked Carmilla softly. 

"It might be a little much for sock puppets," warned Danny lightly, still smiling slightly. Carmilla couldn't help returning the smile, even if the memory hurt. Laura had a gift for making even the darkest and the broodiest want to open up. Danny took a deep breath.

"It didn't start out so bad. They found me, welcomed me in. It was the most included I'd felt since the Summers. The most understood goes almost without saying. Mother didn't have a big enough heart for vampires  _and_ her strange fluke of a Wolf," said Danny bitterly. Carmilla jerked involuntarily. Because deny it all she might, here was another bastard child brought back from the dead. She was a part of their dark, fucked up little family.

"Their leader is a Wolf named Gregor. His first lieutenant is Victor. They brought me in, taught me about being a Wolf, what I could do. I flourished. For a few weeks. And then the first full moon rolled around. Gregor's Wolves brought me along to hunt with them. It wasn't until that night that I realized I didn't  _have_  to change at the full moon," said Danny. She waved away the offered drink.

"Why was that night so different?" Asked Carmilla, encouraging her to go on.  Danny sighed and ran her hand through her long hair. It fell across her shoulders in curtains. Carmilla found herself distracted by the motion, wanting to touch it. She shook her head slightly, confused for the briefest of moments.

"Gregor isn't just a Wolf, he's a monster. He brought the pack to hunt a small village. I knew most Wolves prey after humans, because they crave it. But there's more care for discretion throughout the month. The full moon happens, and Gregor takes the leash off his dogs. They killed every adult they could. I- I was terrified because it wasn't for hunger, it was for sport. I didn't jump in with them. For all the smell of blood is...tantalizing, intoxicating...I couldn't do it. I was still  _me._ " Danny paused a swallowed. Her eyes had shut, remembering.

"I changed back. There was a family nearby. I protected them from two of Gregor's wolves. They escaped," said Danny. She opened her eyes, but there was no triumph there. Carmilla shifted closer to her on the bed and placed a hand on Danny's ankle tentatively. She meant it to be comforting, unsure if she was overstepping. 

"I didn't escape the massacre. Gregor was displeased to say the least. He ordered his Wolves on me, to capture me. I didn't do well in a human shape versus a pack of moon drunk Wolves. When I woke up it was in some dark grimy room beneath the city. I'd been shackled, hands and feet. It was pointless, my leg was broken in three places. Left shoulder was dislocated. Nose was shattered, so breathing wasn't easy. I could count five broken ribs at that time, but I was next to delirious so who knows. Three broken fingers on my right hand," she said, holding up the hand. It was only now that she was paying attention that Carmilla saw the middle, ring, and little fingers were all slightly crooked, poorly healed.

"Gregor was in a rage. I think secretly he might've been a little afraid. He'd never met a Wolf who didn't have to stay turned on the full moon. He demanded to know what I was, how I'd turned. As though it was some vital piece of information. I don't know why I didn't tell him or wanted to even keep it a secret. But for a long time I said nothing. The beatings were..." She trailed off. Carmilla held breath she didn't need, not wanting to distract or deter Danny from continuing to share.

Laura had been the best listener. Ten years together encouraged a much more open and vulnerable Carmilla Karnstein. For all she was still just as snarky, just as morose, she'd been changed by being with Laura. Rougher edges smoothed over. She'd had many conversations with Laura just like this and Laura had been so patient and so comforting. Carmilla couldn't stack herself against Laura, she'd come up short she knew. But she couldn't get over that Danny needed someone.  _And maybe this was what Laura wanted in the first place_ she thought fleetingly to herself.

Danny was quiet for a long time. Carmilla gently squeezed her ankle. Danny started a little bit. She realized she'd been in the middle of speaking and blushed slightly. She cleared her throat.

"Sorry," she muttered.

"No reason to apologize to me Red. You don't have to talk about this if you don't want to," she said, offering the woman an out. Danny shook her head.

"No, I do. I’ve had a lot of time to process. I’ve just never said it out loud before,” cleared her throat again. “At first Gregor kept his interrogation pretty standard. Asked a question. When I didn't respond, I got a slap, a punch, a kick. Whatever Victor was feeling. I didn't tell him anything about my turning. I think some part of me thought that he might go to Silas if he knew anything about it. I'd never be able to live with myself if he went there and hurt anyone. His tactics didn't work. So he upped the brutality. Waterboarding, lashings, that kind of thing. Heating up pure silver rods for branding. Starve me out for days at a time and when he let me eat it was rancid meat. It wasn't constant mind you, not after the first few weeks. He didn’t get anything from me so he got bored. He'd remember I was there every once in a while, remind me I was his prisoner. Ultimately, he wanted control over his pack and he got it. I was the only idiot who defied him and he made an example," said Danny. Her voice sounded detached and she didn't look at Carmilla, just far away over her shoulder.

"Danny," started Carmilla. Her voice was tight with anger and regret. This monster had hurt this woman that Carmilla was responsible for. If they'd known, if they'd stopped Danny from leaving...

"Danny, I'm so sorry," she breathed out. Danny looked down at her. Danny's eyes were sad and old but they weren't angry. Just resigned.

"There's nothing to be sorry for. In hindsight, I should've spent more time learning about myself before running around with strangers," she said.

"It wasn't your fault Danny," said Carmilla harshly. Danny was dimly aware of the way her name sounded on Carmilla's lips. Her voice was low, husky, and strained. It hurt for her. And the expression on Carmilla's face was familiar, although Danny had never seen it directed at her. It was an expression that said Carmilla would fight armies and climb mountains and swim to the bottom of the sea.

"Doesn't mean I didn't gain some insight from it," she replied bitterly. Carmilla knew all too well what kind of insight came from pain.

"How did you get out of there?" Asked Carmilla quietly.

"Luck, nothing glamorous.  Gregor stabbed me right beneath the right shoulder blade with a silver knife and broke the blade off in my back so I couldn't turn, right when I was captured. It stayed there for about five years. It worked itself out slowly. One day it was out far enough for me to grab it and pull it out. I built up my strength over a few days, best I could. I turned and when the door opened I made a break for it. Security had gone lax. And I've been running ever since, for about five years now. I was weak and half crazy when you found me because I try to feed as little as possible to avoid attention," finished Danny. Carmilla was furious but didn't know what to say. 

Danny must have noticed the murder in Carmilla’s eyes. She got up from her chair and nudged Carmilla over, settling herself down on the bed. She nudged the vampire with an elbow. 

“It was years ago. There wasn't anything anyone could've done,” she said lightly. 

“I know there's hardly any love lost between us Red, but…I never would've wished that on you,” said Carmilla. She turned to look at Danny, green eyes flecked with red meeting blue flecked with amber. Danny gave a small half smile.

“I think it's been long enough we can let the bad parts of Silas go. I used to hate you, or I thought it was hate. but I think it's because we were in love with the same person and well. That wasn’t really fair,” whispered Danny, looking at Carmilla for a long time. There was something more kindred than had been there before, a deeper level of understanding, of connection. And, for the first time in a long time for both, a relieving lack of loneliness.

“I'm sorry I didn't handle things differently back then,” Danny muttered. Carmilla shook her head. 

“One day we’re gonna break you of that habit of apologizing for no reason. All of us, Laura included, could-should- have handled things differently,” said Carmilla slightly. On complete impulse, she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Danny’s cheek and leaned back. Danny blushed slightly and looked at Carmilla out the corner of her eye. 

“One day huh?” She asked. Camilla, despite her steady alcohol consumption, heard the unasked question.

“You’re stuck with me Puppy,” She said, shrugging.

“Because Laura sent you,” replied Danny, half stating, half questioning. Because there was a distinction and she needed to know. Carmilla spoke slowly, choosing her words carefully.

“I came to find you because Laura asked me too. You know what saying no to her was like,” she started.

“You just don’t,” supplied Danny.

“Exactly. And I was selfish, I didn’t come after you as soon as I could’ve. I wasn’t…I wasn’t ready to. But when I finally started thinking straight again, I became determined. The request was Laura’s but the actions themselves? Those are mine. And now I have you, finally, I don’t want to let you go. Maybe I’ve grown sentimental in my old age, but, well... I don’t do well alone. And you,” she paused, voice choking up unexpectedly. She blinked tears away rapidly, wiping them quickly. Danny seized one of her hands when it was still enough.

“I really miss her Danny,” she said finally, voice a harsh whisper, “and you remind me of the best parts of her. Not the same but I understand why she cared so much about you. So, unless you hate the idea, you’re stuck with me,” finished Carmilla.

Danny was quiet for a long moment. Carmilla would’ve been worried, except Danny never relinquished her hand. Her voice was thick when she spoke again, but she didn’t cry.

“That’s probably the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me. Certainly the nicest you have,” she remarked. Carmilla rolled her eyes.

“Don’t get too used to it,” she said.

“Heaven forbid. But, hey, you know I don’t do alone that great either. And while I never imagined saying it,” Carmilla nudged her arm, “I don’t want you to go.”

Carmilla gave her half a smile and stretched, scooting down in the bed, yawning.

“Glad that’s settled. Now, my vote is sleep, and we’re less tired we’ll figure out what to do about Gregor,” she remarked, settling down on her side.

“Always opting for a cat nap aren’t you,” said Danny. Carmilla poked her ribs for the quip, causing Danny to squirm away. The taller woman made to get off the bed but Carmilla snagged her arm above the elbow.

“Stay. You’ll get no sleep on that sorry excuse for a chair,” she said firmly. Danny deliberated but eventually lay down, her back to Carmilla. 

Carmilla studied her back, noting the strong muscles that tensed and relaxed under the thin shirt she wore despite the cold. Emboldened by revealed sentimentality and just a little bit of alcohol, reached out a hand and placed it in between Danny’s shoulder blades. Her back tightened for a moment before she calmed. Slowly, Carmilla moved her fingers until they found a scar beneath Danny’s right shoulder blade. It was thick and raised and at least two inches long. Carmilla traced it while Danny fought to stay still. 

“Red, I hate so much this happened to you. I’ll do everything I can to keep him from you,” She said firmly. She felt Danny exhale tiredly, sleep catching up. 

“I know you will Carm.”

Danny was too tired to argue, but in her heart of hearts, she knew there was little to do about Gregor. You don't just "do something" about the oldest active werewolf. But sleep won out over words and Danny reasoned there was time to argue later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're halfway there! thanks for reading.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny and Carmilla hang out some more and talk about what to do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I say anything about this chapter, can we talk about the fact Tamora Pierce released a new book (Tempests and Slaughter)? I'm so stinking stoked to be reading new Tortall books eleven years after I was introduced to them. Anyway, between that and classes (grad classes online stink for the record), I was delayed in getting this out.
> 
> This is (technically) a filler chapter, but we'll call it a character development chapter instead. I promise it pretty much picks up to a sprint after this.
> 
> Sometimes it's good to hear someone else say that the shit you've gone through was, in fact, shit.
> 
> As always, I appreciate your time and feedback.

The sun was setting when Carmilla stirred again. She stretched, feeling her back pop in places. She opened her eyes.

At first, she was confused, because Danny Lawrence’s sleeping face was across from hers. It'd been two years since Carmilla had woken up across from anyone. For a sharp, painful moment, Carmilla ached for Laura. It was a different kind of ache than waking up alone.

It wasn't unpleasant, being there next to Danny. It was warm and Carmilla felt safer than she had in years. But it was yet something else that was different. And different took getting used to. 

Rather than dwell on anything, Carmilla got up and poured blood from a bag from a cooler that held nothing else. She perched on the rickety chair and watched the sun's slow decent into the horizon. 

For all she was a creature of the night, Carmilla loved the sunlight as it faded into and out of the world. In all the hundreds of years of life, not a single sunrise or sunset looked the same, even in the same place.

This evening's pallet was inclined toward dark purples and navy blues, with streaks of grey on the fringes. She sat transfixed for minutes, moving only to sip blood, not even breathing, as night took over. It wasn’t until the first twinkling of stars appeared that she moved from her perch and turned to face Danny. The other woman was awake and watching Carmilla silently. It was a testament to her comfort around the Wolf that she hadn’t noticed Danny was awake.

“Hey,” said Carmilla, breaking the silence. 

“Hey,” replied Danny quietly. “How’d you sleep?”

“Better than I have in awhile,” responded Carmilla sincerely. Danny just nodded. 

“Have you been to Bucharest before?” asked the Wolf.

“It’s been a long time, but yes. I think it’s impossible to turn into our breed of immortal and not come down here at some point,” she replied.

“Why is that?” 

Carmilla shrugged.

“I’m not sure. I think it’s part man-made mythology and part magic. I think it's like…magnets. The magic that makes us who, what we are is pulled toward the magic in the dirt here,” she said. Danny nodded thoughtfully.

“You’ve been around haven’t you?” asked Danny. Carmilla laughed, dry and throaty.

“Yeah Red I have. There’s only so much you can do with immortality,” she replied.

“Have you been back home?” asked Danny.

“Depends what you mean by home,” replied the vampire mildly. Danny winced slightly.

“Sorry, insensitive. I meant your family’s estate,” She said. Carmilla ignored the apology. 

“Styria  _was_  home when I was alive, my family estates weren’t far from Silas. I used to wander the grounds often, at night. It's a good place to think at any rate,” She replied, standing up. Danny sensed that Carmilla didn't want to talk more about it and so she didn't push.

“Food?” asked Carmilla. Danny laughed, the sound coming out like a short bark.

“I haven't had so much food consistently for years. I don't need to feed every day you know," she remarked.

"I know, but life's so much more...subtle when neither of us are hungry," remarked Carmilla. She stood, shuffled around in her belongings and produced a worn leather jacket, pulling it on.

"What's your world education looked like since you turned? Have you actually looked at anything or do you stay in the woods?" Asked Carmilla. She had a guess on the answer and Danny confirmed it with a tiny grimace.

"I've not been around people much," she grunted.

"Well they're not all the best, but they're the best we have. Pull on a coat," Carmilla held up a hand to stop Danny's protest as it formed, "I know you're not cold and you don't need it, but we'll get too many stares by people whose ancestors had a healthy affinity for wooden stakes and torches if you don't wear one." Danny grumbled, but grabbed a coat.

The next few hours had the pair wandering the streets of Bucharest. Danny found herself enamored with what was left of old sixteenth and seventeenth century architecture. Carmilla told the history like it was a story, highlighting battles, the various plagues, the effects of World Wars and Communism. It was all interesting and made alive by actually being in the place.

They ended up on a bridge over a lake. The moon, mostly full, shone in the water. Carmilla had noticed Danny had excess energy, but wasn't quite as agitated like the previous night. Danny must've noticed or felt her staring.

"What?" She asked. Carmilla shook her head.

"I'm still amazed by your control. And it takes a lot to amaze me these days," she remarked.

"Maybe it's the silver lining where Mother is concerned," said Danny indifferently. "Either way, I'm glad I'm not as monstrous as possible." Carmilla looked out over the ripples in the water.

"The movies don't ever seem to get the mythology about this place quite right," she remarked.

"What do you mean?"

"Vampires and their origins and such. I guess Transylvania is easier to say than Wallachia, but that's what this region used to be known as. Transylvania, Wallachia, and Moldavia all were fused together to create Romania. A popular theory is that Stoker's  _Dracula_ was inspired by the Wallachian prince, Vlad the Impaler. Bucharest was the seat of his palace. Also where he did the impaling," Danny grimaced.

"You know, people, older people, like to say that world is getting so much worse. I'm not so sure. I just think we're more aware of how fucked up everyone is because of the internet," she replied. Carmilla laughed, pulling out a cigarette from the battered pack.

"You're probably right. Though I think some things are just as bad as people think; some are worse."

"You mean like vampires and werewolves?" Asked Danny, eyebrow raised.

"Exactly like. A healthy part of the global populace dismisses us as fiction. Yet, here we. Just as real as the water or the air," remarked Carmilla, dragging on her cigarette.

"Those things will kill you," said Danny casually. Carmilla snorted.

"Right, I'll keep that in mind. Hey, speaking of things killing us, what are we going to do about Gregor?" Asked Carmilla. Danny's face clouded.

"What about him?" She asked guardedly.

"Well I'm not sure what you'd planned on, but I don't intend on spending the foreseeable future running from him," said Carmilla seriously.

"There's no winning against him Carmilla. He's old and strong. And the Wolves here would never betray him," remarked Danny. Carmilla glowered up at the other woman.

"So you're telling me that you're content to spend your days with your tail tucked between your legs, hoping and praying he never finds you?" Danny's eyes snapped to Carmilla, angry.

"It's not about not fighting, it's about being reasonable. He's too strong," she said defensively.

"The Danny Lawrence I knew never backed down from a fight, even the unwinable ones. She was fearless," replied Carmilla, challenging Danny.

"The Danny Lawrence you knew was an incurable idealist who hadn't spent five years captured and tortured. I won't do that again Carmilla. I'll die before I do that again," she said harshly.

"Running and hiding and waiting until the next time he finds you is no life. Because he will find you. He'll find the both of us," said Carmilla. She stated it as a fact, not arguing, just talking, her voice calm.

"So what, you want to find him first? Plunge headfirst into a losing fight, again? I didn't enjoy dying the first time Carmilla," retorted Danny, her voice rising despite Carmilla's calm. Carmilla's mouth twitched.

"Death by stabbing is rather...unpleasant," she said, watching Danny out the corner of her eye. She tried hard to remain stoic, but lost the battle. Suddenly the tension broke and the pair found themselves laughing.

"What a fucking pair we make Lawrence," remarked Carmilla when she'd finally recovered enough to do so.

"Nobody would've called it a dozen years ago," replied Danny. Carmilla looked up at her thoughtfully.

"Maybe Laura did," she said quietly. "She always seemed so see us as the best potential versions of ourselves, no matter how contentious we resolved to be." Danny nodded, looking down over the railing into the water.

"Goodness knows she had a tendency to be right about people," said Danny. Carmilla followed her gaze to the water.

"If she were here, she'd never let you live in fear. Albeit, she'd probably and very foolishly would've wandered into a Wolf den alone by now. But she'd want to do something about it. I'm sure of it," said Carmilla firmly. Danny sighed and nodded.

"I know. I've never been fearless Carm. Just reckless. Knowing just how bad Gregor is? It just leaves me a little less inclined to try," she said.

"That's crap Red. All of it, even if you don't think so now. But, we'll figure it out," Carmilla said. Danny nodded.

"We should probably get moving. They'll be coming for us." Carmilla sighed.

"You're probably right," she said. And the pair set off walking. Danny broke the silence after a while.

"Can I ask you a question?" She asked. Carmilla glanced up at her.

"I can't really stop you," replied Carmilla noncommittally.

"Will you answer a question for me?" Rephrased Danny.

"Sure Red," replied Carmilla.

"You said earlier that you didn't start looking for me until you were thinking straight," started Danny. She paused, affording the vampire the opportunity to bail on the line of questioning. When Carmilla looked up at her again, expectantly, she continued.

"What happened?" Asked Danny quietly. Carmilla was quiet, trying to figure out how exactly she wanted to answer.

"I lost myself a little bit," she finally replied. "It was too much, losing Laura again. And I just pulled out of the world for a little bit. I managed not to kill anyone on purpose; you know, without a threat to myself. But I hunted," Carmilla coughed, clearing her throat. "I spent a couple months in the wilderness as a panther. I killed animals. And uh, one day I snapped out of it."

Carmilla, looked at her feet as she walked, half waiting for a reprimand from the red head next to her. When several minutes passed without one, she looked at Danny.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Asked Carmilla. They'd walked up to the motel entrance.

"What are you expecting?" Asked Danny. Carmilla shrugged.

"I dunno, some tirade about healthy coping mechanisms and not hunting people," Carmilla huffed. The ascended the stairs. Danny laughed, to Carmilla's astonishment.

"Maybe that would've been my response a decade ago. But I'm not that person any more Carm," started Danny. Carmilla was surprised to realize she wasn't minding the nickname. "I'm a little more of a realist these days and the last person who has any right to judge. For what it's worth, I'm proud of you for not killing when you could help it. But it was Laura. And," Danny paused, voice catching slightly.

"All I'm trying to say is I get it. I'm sorry you went through it all alone," she said, her voice rough. Carmilla didn't say anything, but for some inexplicable reason, felt lighter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla and Danny get caught up with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Picking up the pace a little bit here. The end is nigh!

"Heads up Red," Danny's eyes didn't even twitch toward Carmilla as her hand shot out and caught the car keys thrown in her direction. She glanced up to smirk at Carmilla. The vampire rolled her eyes.

"Show off," she muttered under her breath, climbing into the shotgun seat of the car. Danny grumbled as her knees slammed into the steering column of the vehicle, the leg room not near enough to accommodate her long frame.

"Fucking shorty," she muttered at a grinning Carmilla.

"It's not my fault you forgot to stop growing Beanstalk," she said.

"No I suppose not," said Danny, finally getting the seat far enough back that she could sit in relative comfort. "I don't understand the point of small vehicles."

"You would want something giant," said Carmilla.

"They're more practical," said Danny, almost whining.

"You sound like a Puppy," said Carmilla in a sing-song. Danny just huffed and rolled her eyes.

"So where is your stuff? And how do you know it's still there?" Asked Carmilla.

"Old Town. You know how a lot of the buildings are condemned?" Asked Danny. Carmilla nodded.

"Plenty were left that way after the Communists left. Used but not really up to code or some such thing?" Asked Carmilla. Danny was pulling away from the motel, navigating the practically empty streets with ease.

"Right. This particular one took damage in an earthquake. Nothing was really done with it, but no one goes in because the whole thing can come down at any time," she said.

"No one but a reckless lone Wolf you mean," replied Carmilla.

"Yeah and her vampire sidekick," said Danny. Carmilla shook her head.

"Yeah, definitely not, if anything you're the sidekick in this situation Scooby," replied Carmilla.

"That show was named after him, he was practically the star!" exclaimed Danny.

"Fine. Do you prefer Snoopy or Toto?" Asked Carmilla, complete deadpan.

"Elvira or Morticia?" Danny jabbed back. Carmilla turned to retort and caught a glimpse out of Danny's side window.

"Fuck, look -" was all she had a chance to scream before a black truck slammed into the driver's side of the small car.

The sound of metal grating metal was too much for supernatural ears. Both women were disoriented and reeling. The car spun and slammed into a light pole. Dizzy and ears ringing, Carmilla looked up at the truck. Five people- three men and two women – jumped out of the truck and started walking toward them. Each carried identical metal rods.

"Danny, Danny are you okay?" Asked Carmilla desperately. She reached out a shaking hand to Danny's chest. Heartbeat.

"Lawrence, wake the fuck up," said Carmilla, shaking the taller woman. Danny groaned, hand reaching for her head, eyes blinking rapidly. Those figures were approaching. Their engine sputtered, starting to spew smoke. Carmilla ripped her seatbelt clear from herself and tore Danny's away.

"Lawrence, assholes are walking up and I need you to fucking move," Danny blinked hard, willing away confusion and disorientation. Carmilla didn't wait, but rather leaned back in her chair and kick at the fractured windshield. Three solid kicks and the pane popped out and flopped onto the car hood with a crunch.

"Danny, you've got maybe two more seconds to get it together," said Carmilla. Without waiting for a response, Carmilla climbed out the wrecked car. Solid ground under her feet helped her. Slightly.

The five approaching figures paused in semi-circle ten feet from the car.

"Look guys," said Carmilla, holding her hands up placatingly. "We're just trying to be on our way. We don't want to fuck around right here. We're out in the open and anyone could walk up and get hurt."

"Come with us quietly and we'll let Lawrence live," said one of the women, twirling her stick in a slow circle. Carmilla stared at her.

"The fuck? What the fuck do you want with me?" She asked incredulously, thrown at the sudden twist in conversation.

"Surrender now and we'll let the traitor live. It's simple," answered a man in the back. His posture was relaxed, almost bored.

"You've a funny definition of traitor, Victor," remarked Danny, finally escaping the trap of the car to stand by Carmilla.

"Ms. Lawrence, if you value your life in the slightest, turn the bloodsucking bitch over to us now. I will not ask again," replied Victor. Danny shook her head.

"She's not mine to give to anyone Victor. I wouldn't if I could. Why does Gregor want her?" Asked Danny. For all her voice held nothing but scorn and disdain for this man, Carmilla felt Danny shaking next to her.

"Her brother Adrianus wants a word with her," was all Victor said. Carmilla's eyes grew wide.

"Adrianus?" She asked, barely above a whisper. Danny glanced down at her. Carmilla was rigid.

"Carmilla?" Danny asked, afraid because Carmilla was afraid.

"Yes, he's been asking the European supernatural community at large to return you to him should we happen upon you. Now that we have you, well, the request has become a priority. Last chance. Come with us or we kill Lawrence," answered Victor.

"She's not going with you anywhere," spat Danny. Carmilla reached out and grabbed her forearm.

"Danny, Adrianus is Mother's first born," she whispered to her. Danny's eyes widened slightly.

"Carmilla, now I'm definitely not letting you go with them. Do you really think they'll honor any promises they make to you here?" Asked Danny harshly. Carmilla sighed.

"No I suppose not. Listen, Victor right? As...persuasive as my brother is, I have to side with my colleague here. Don't sweat the vehicle damage, it's not mine anyway," remarked Carmilla.

"Get them both," said Victor, still sounding bored.

His allies charged forward, rods raised. Carmilla ducked a swing and lashed out with a kick, connecting with a knee. A rod caught her on the back, dropping her to a knee. She swept out with one leg and a Wolf hit the street. 

Danny had both her opponents on height and strength in her human form. And she was incensed. Because no one was taking Carmilla from her. She exchanged blows with the first attacker, receiving a few hits from the rod. They hurt but weren't debilitating, clothing muting the blows slightly. She kicked one Wolf in the gut, throwing him back to sprawl on his back. She blocked the descent of a rod on her forearm, pushed it aside and struck that woman with a fist in the throat, making her gag and cough.

A moment of distraction came in the form of an ear piercing, blood curling scream. Danny looked over at Carmilla. The vampire's teeth were sunk deep into the Wolf's throat. A second later, a section of artery was removed and spit out onto the street with a bloody splash. The Wolf fell dead. Carmilla was a nightmare, eyes blood red and gore splattered on her face and chin.

Danny's distraction earned her a strike with a rod across the face. The force hurt, but it also burned, now on bare skin, and that burning pain was what made Danny scream. Silver.

Her leg was kicked out from under her and the rods landed on whatever flesh was exposed. Danny caught a rod in one hand and despite the burning and smell of singed skin, she yanked the rod out of her opponent's hand. She snarled, lashing out, kicking out and scrambling to her feet, again meeting two Wolves in a fight, wielding the rod like a sword.

"Enough of this," snarled Victor. Faster than an eye could track, he rushed Danny. She raised the rod to swing, but it was far too late. Victor slammed his shoulder into Danny's gut, rugby tackling her to the ground. The wind was knocked clean out of her and stars burst in her eyesight when she slammed her head into the ground. Victor viciously back handed her face and followed same motion with a punch to Danny's nose. She couldn't see or stand, barely breathe.

Victor was old and strong. Older than Carmilla, and his time had not been spent seducing young virgins to their deaths. Victor was a warrior before he changed. He saw the Tsar's rise to power in Russia, fought in countless wars. Killed his fair share of vampires.  The Wolf in him only made him more brutal. Despite the rush from killing one Wolf, Carmilla knew instantly she was outmatched. Victor slammed into her like a freight train. He struck her head and spine in quick succession, knocking her to the ground like a dead leaf in the cold.

Danny rolled over and was struggling to her feet, her vision swimming. Her eyes met Carmilla's for the briefest of moments.

Victor snagged Carmilla by the throat, dragging her to the bed of the truck. Carmilla must've regained some awareness because next all Danny heard was screaming.

"No! Just kill me, don't do this, please, just kill me, please, no! Danny!"

Begging, screaming. Pleading. Things Carmilla Karnstein didn't do. There was a heavy thud and the screaming was muted.

"Carmilla!" Danny yelled, managing to push herself up onto her hands and knees. A Wolf kicked her to the ground and kicked again.

"Carmilla," Danny half sobbed, half scream. Victor's blurred vision walked up to her.

"You three. Kill her and get rid of her body. Meet at the rendezvous point," he said. He knelt next to Danny, placing his fingertips on her face, forcing it back so she had to look up at him. "Ms. Lawrence, it's all been a waste of time you know. The running, the fighting. We were always going to kill you. And it's all your fault." And he turned and left. A moment later, the truck revved, and was gone.

The man left grabbed a fist full of Danny's hair and yanked it back, forcing her to meet his eyes.

"He wants you dead. I want you to die  _screaming, begging_  for your miserable life. Those men you left dead in the woods were my brothers," explained Dimitri calmly. Danny, rage and heartache building, because they had taken Carmilla, they had taken the one thing about the last twelve years that was good, that was familiar, that felt even remotely like home. She lashed out at Victor, clawing at his face, snarling like a wild animal.

He yelled and dropped her hair. Her lunge was cut short because the two women grabbed an arm each and slammed her back to the ground. Angry tears of frustration leaked from her eyes as she struggled to no avail.

"Fuck this. I'm just gonna bash your fuckin face in," spat Dimitri. He lifted his silver rod high over his head. Danny caught his eyes and held them, refusing to look away, even as the rod descended. She would die knowing her last act had been one of defiance.

Danny was blinded by a bright flash of white light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny finally gets the answer to why she's so different from the Wolves she's met in her afterlife.

A coffin. A _fucking_ coffin. Dark and airless, a steel and wooden construction. It smelled of death and old blood. In a calmer frame of mind, Carmilla would have appreciated the novelty. But Carmilla was far from calm. The box reflected Carmilla's screams back to her. Desperate hands scratched at the wood, tearing her finger tips bloody.

 

Carmilla kicked and punched, but it did no good. She slammed her elbows into the sides. The box was shallow and narrow, she couldn't even pull her knees up. She hit and screamed and cried, dry sobs racking her body.

 

She had failed.

 

Laura had asked her for two things.

 

Find Danny.

 

Make sure Danny was okay.

 

And now, Danny was surely dead. And soon, Carmilla would be too.

 

The dimmest, most logical part of her brain reminded her that she'd been dead for the last 350 or so years.

 

Why then did she feel as though she was dying all over again?

 

The suffocating dark of the coffin was a new death sentence. And now, after Silas, after Laura, after Danny, it was so much worse.

 

And it was _still_ all Mother's fault. Because Adrianus was her monster. Carmilla had known that there would be fallout from Mother's death, but it hadn't yet touched her and so it was on the backburner. She realized, in hindsight, that she should've known Adrianus would want her dead for her betrayal. Adrianus was as formidable as Mother in his own right and had loved his Mother. The only thing he loved more was bloodshed. He would've taken her death very hard and would make Carmilla suffer for her hand in it. For the first time since she'd lost her, Carmilla was thankful Laura was gone, because at least she'd been free from the madness of her oldest brother.

 

 

 

 

 

Danny blinked her eyes quickly at the bright light. Her captors had released her. And she felt...good. Rested, as though she'd slept and ate well for the last 12 years. The freshest of her wounds had healed. She looked around her when she realized she could. To her immense surprise, Dimitri and the two female Wolves lay on the ground.

 

They were still on the street. Danny rolled to her knees and stood, staring at her enemies in wonder.

 

"They are dead child," spoke a voice from across the street. It was a voice that sounded like nothing Danny had never heard before, calling to mind the whisper of wind through the trees and water over rocks in a stream in the middle of the woods.

 

Danny's eyes snapped up to the image of a young woman clothed in light green and brown leather armor that ended in a skirt that left her legs free to move. A crescent moon shown white on her forehead. Her brown leather sandals wrapped around her calf. A white, sheer cloak draped across her shoulders and fell to her feet. Danny saw the feathers of a cluster of arrows in a quiver on the woman's back. A beautiful long bow of carved wood was clutched lightly between her hands. Long, curly brown hair tumbled over her shoulder. The shadows of large hounds flickered and weaved about her feet. She shone with a soft light that seemed to emanate from her.

 

Otherworldly light.

 

Greek armor.

 

Bow and Arrows.

 

Hounds.

 

"Artemis," breathed Danny reverently, dropping to a knee, bowing her head.

 

Danny felt a cool hand under her chin, gently pulling her to look up. Danny did, and Artemis pulled her to her feet. Danny, through her haze of awe, was bemused to see she stood tall enough to look the goddess in the eye.

 

"Goddess," said Danny, unsure of what else to say.

 

"Your road has been difficult daughter. More difficult than I intended," remarked the Goddess. Her eyes were calm and staring into them was like seeing the far away past and future all at the same time.

 

"Daughter?" Questioned Danny, apparently unable to use more than one word at a time.

 

"Have you not wondered how you came to be a Wolf in this life?" Artemis asked.

 

"Of course, but I assumed the Dean," started Danny, trailing off as the goddess nodded her head.

 

"Yes, that creature of darkness did return you to life. But the life was not hers to do with what she pleased," supplied Artemis.

 

"I don't understand," said Danny.

 

"You are a true sister of the Summer Society. Proven in battle. Loyal and selfless to a fault, to your own hurt. Am I not your patron goddess?" Asked Artemis, amused. Danny blushed slightly.

 

"You are, of course. We pledge our fealty to each other, those who need protection, and you, our Lady of the Hunt," replied Danny. Artemis was nodding, looking fondly at Danny.

 

"You are a true daughter of the Lady of the Hunt Danielle Lawrence. The Dean returned life to your physical body. But she can only bring back the dead in one form," she said.

 

"Vampires," replied Danny.

 

"Yes. That was not a fate I would allow for you. The Dean was allowed to return you to life, but as your patron, it was I who decided what shape that life would take. You are my daughter as long as you draw breath and no mistress of the darkness would have control over you," replied Artemis seriously.

 

Here was the answer that Danny had wondered after for twelve years. She was different from the Dean's other servants because of Artemis. She was different from other Wolves because they were not turned as she was. Her power was god breathed. Her eyes widened in wonder.

 

"You are the first Wolf in many centuries dedicated to me. The first Wolves were mine. Devoted followers who'd earned second chances, to serve and protect. But there were some who, in their rebirth, turned to selfishness. They served themselves. And the Wolves you face today are their descendants," said Artemis. Danny's mind was reeling at the implications of the goddess's words. These Wolves were once noble, once didn't feed and prey on the weak and innocent. They protected them. These Wolves were a twisted perversion. And they had Carmilla.

 

"Mother," started Danny. Artemis looked at her, waiting. "I have so many questions, but I have to go after Carmilla. I know that she was one of the Dean's," Artemis interrupted Danny by holding her hand up.

 

"Mircalla, Countess Karnstein, is her own, shaped and defined by the love she has shared and received. She is more yours now, and Laura Hollis's, than she ever was the Dean's," she remarked. Danny felt a thrill of relief and reassurance.

 

"Then you know I have to go after her," said Danny. Artemis nodded.

 

"And so you shall. You shall find her northeast of here. And you must catch her today, because her brother Adrianus will come for her tomorrow night. Take these," said Artemis, handing Danny the bow and quiver of arrows. Taking them with trembling hands, Danny realized they were her own, the items she'd stored in Old Town.

 

"Never part with them again, for they are tokens of my favor and a symbol of your fealty to me. Do not fear your nature as it is now. Take care of yourself. Protect the weak. Use your strength for as a tool of justice. I did not allow your return so you could hide from the world and waste away," said Artemis seriously. Danny nodded solemnly. Artemis leaned forward and kissed Danny on the forehead. The kiss was fire and ice; Danny gasped.

 

"Go now daughter, and good hunting." And in another flash of pure white light, the goddess and her hounds, and the dead Wolves, were gone.

 

Danny exhaled heavily, feeling the divinity of the goddess's presence fade. The freshly rested feeling faded, and her soreness and aches and pains of the last few days returned to her. But there was no more exhaustion, just fiery purpose.

 

 

 

Carmilla dimly registered the truck coming to a stop. She'd stopped screaming, stopped fighting. She tried to stop thinking too, but there was just enough space in the coffin for every feeling of failure to fill in with her.

 

Victor was yelling instructions. The coffin was slid from the bed of the truck and landed heavily on the ground. Carmilla felt it lift and after a short trip of strange, uneven footfalls, felt something...worse.

 

They were lowering her down and she knew it was a grave. She could hear the wood and steel scrape the dirt as it descended. The sound of dirt striking the wood above her was like a slap across Carmilla's face.

 

She started to cry, softly, hot tears burning her face, sobs choking her. _I'm sorry Laura. I found her but I couldn't keep her, just like I couldn't keep you. You should've asked someone else, you should've known I'd fuck this up too._

Soon, a layer of dirt covered the coffin.  Carmilla knew. This wasn't the first time she'd been buried alive. The sound of dirt landing was softer. The pressure kept increasing.

 

_Danny I'm sorry. I don't know why I thought I could do anything for you. All I did was finally get you killed._

Danny ran through the day. She'd taken her visit with the goddess seriously. She found that her physical body and Wolf did not feel so separate anymore. Smells were sharper, hearing was better. Even her running was faster. She was able to pick out Carmilla's scent amongst a plethora of others: parchment paper, burned candles, tobacco, faint rust, salt, and lavender. She breathed it in a followed, untiringly.

 

When she exited the city, she turned, a Wolf in broad daylight, her paws hammering against the ground. She didn't question her ability to hold onto her bow and arrows if she turned; she knew instinctively that she would.

 

She ran for hours, stopping only for water. She finally stopped as the sun was just starting its descent. She wasn't sure what did it; perhaps it was Artemis leading her. But Danny knew when it was time to revert to her human shape. She knew that the other Wolves would know another Wolf was close. They'd be expecting Wolves at the camp, for Wolves intent on getting there quickly, to return to the safety of the Pack.

 

Danny found herself at the ruins of a small town. Some buildings remained, but they were burned out husks. Danny could smell fires burning, recently turned dirt, blood, sweat. She approached as night descended, using the trees that were reclaiming the village for cover. Her eyes sharpened through the gaps. She quickly recognized Victor, calm and brooding. There were six others there. They looked simply to be waiting.

 

Despite her newfound courage, Danny was glad to not count Gregor among their numbers. Victor was struggle enough, she doubted she would manage a victory against Gregor tonight. She knew now she had to face him. Her mandate was to serve and protect. Gregor had made it his practice to feast on the blood of innocents. To encourage his pack to do the same. It could no longer be allowed.

 

Danny took a deep breath. There was no need to wait any more, to plan any more. If she waited, Adrianus would arrive and that was a fight Danny intended to avoid entirely.

 

She drew an arrow, fixed it to the bow, drew, took aim, and loosed.

 

 

 

Victor stared in shock when a silver and brown arrow erupted through the trees to bury itself squarely in the head of one of his pack mates. Two more arrows, two more dead wolves.

 

"Take cover!" He shouted. The other Wolves dived behind trees. Victor himself used the engine block of the truck for cover.

 

"You two, go check it out," he barked at two younger Wolves. They changed and leapt into the woods. There was an eerie silence.

 

Louds yelps and whines filled the air.

 

More eerie silence.

 

Victor was enraged. He had not been successfully ambushed since the attack that had turned him. Centuries of fights and skirmishes and he'd never been caught unawares. He heard footsteps and looked over the hood of the truck.

 

There at the tree line, was the tall red-headed pain in his ass. Not just alive but armed too.

 

"You're supposed to be dead," he snarled at her, stepping away from the truck. He would not hide from this woman or her...weapons.

 

"Those are god touched," he spat, half fury, half awe. He hadn't seen something god touched in years. This new world tried everything they could to edge the god out of everything. He swept long, blond hair out of his face. "That's hardly a fair fight," he remarked casually.

 

"No Victor, what's unfair is jumping two people with five. Attacking villages of unsuspecting victims. Torturing your own kind with silver. That's unfair. I'm just evening the odds," replied Danny coldly.

 

"Now, last chance to live: where's Carmilla?"

 

Victor smirked.

 

"Alive for the time being," Danny drew her arrow back on the bow.

 

"Where Victor?" She asked coldly.

 

"Doesn't matter, you'll see her when you're dead too," he remarked. Just then his two remaining Wolves leapt at her from the side. She loosed the arrow, but the aim was off and it slammed into Victor's shoulder, rather than his heart as Danny intended.

 

Danny let her bow fall to the ground as she rolled around the with the Wolf that had attacked her. She was out of patience. She grappled just a little before she forced him into a submission hold from behind. She reached her arm around the front of his face, grabbed a handful of hair, and with a savage twist, snapped his neck.

 

She let him fall to the ground. The other of Victor's Wolves looked back and forth as though trying to decide the less of two evils. Victor made the decision for him, producing a handgun and firing twice at the man. The rounds thudded into his chest and he was dead before he hit the ground. Danny looked wide eyed at the dead man and back to Victor.

 

"You see, my treatment toward you isn't personal. I just have one rule. Loyalty above all else. Any deviation from that, and you're good to me only dead," he remarked still calm. He turned the gun to Danny.

 

"You broke that rule too Lawrence. You spat on the family we offered you. There is nothing more unforgivable for the Pack," he growled. They moved at the same time. Danny drew an arrow as she rolled forward, grabbed her bow and as she rose to her knees she let it fly.

 

Heat flared in her cheek, but she barely noticed it. All she saw was the look of stunned disbelief cross Victor's face as he dropped to his knees, arrow punched through his heart. He raised a hand to pull the arrow out, but collapsed to his side, spent, eyes wide in death.

 

Danny was still for a moment. It was the feeling of blood trickling down her face that snapped her back to reality. She wiped it away, realizing the bullet had grazed her. A silver bullet, because he was an asshole like that.

 

Danny glanced around, painfully aware Carmilla was not in plain view. Her eyes found a pair of shovels and a patch of recently turned dirt.

 

"Fucking bastards- Carmilla!" She shouted, grabbing a shovel a beginning to dig.

 

"Carmilla, I'm coming!" She shouted. How _dare_ the bastards do this to her again? Seventy years of the same was too much, a second longer crueler than words.

 

Eventually, the shovel hit wood and steel. Danny cleared the dirt away around the edges.

 

"Carmilla, I'll have you out in a minute, just hang on!" Danny saw an old heavy lock on the coffin and swore. There was no time for clamoring out of the for a key. Danny seized the lock with both hands and with a scream and mighty tear (and maybe some help from the Lady of the Hunt), tore the wretched thing away.

 

Danny opened the coffin.

 

"Carmilla," she breathed out. The vampire was there, covered in dry blood, lined with tear streaks. Her head was turned to the side, her eyes were squeezed shut, hands clenched in tight fists at her sides.

 

"Carmilla, it's me. It's Danny, open your eyes," Danny said quietly, biting back a sob. Because how _dare_ they do this to her again? Carmilla didn't move. Danny reached out a tentative hand and gently brushed her finger tips down the girl's face.

 

Carmilla flinched. But it was a response.

 

"Carm, you're safe. Victor's gone. You don't have to stay in this fucking box. Please," whispered Danny. Her fingers brushed through Carmilla's hair lightly, brushing it away from Carmilla's face.

 

"Carmilla, you need to come back to me now," said Danny, quietly. "I need you Carm. Please."

 

 

Slowly, as though not trusting whatever her eyes might chose to see, Carmilla opened her eyes and turned her head to face Danny. For a moment she just stared.

 

"They said they'd kill you," she finally croaked out. Danny half smiled, tears falling in earnest down her face now.

 

"It’s a long story. Come on Fangs, it's me. I swear by everything in this universe, it's me."

 

Carmilla's eyes slipped from Danny to the night sky behind her. The stars twinkling against the inky black. Comforting, welcoming, and constant. Her eyes shifted back to Danny's and she relaxed her hands. She raised a shaking hand and brushed her finger tips down Danny's cheek, the same as Danny had done.

 

"You're really here aren't you? You're real, not some hallucination?" She whispered.

 

"Yeah Carm, it's me. I'd never leave you where the stars couldn’t see you," Danny whispered back. Carmilla's face cracked as a sob racked her frame and she threw her arms around Danny's neck. Danny caught her, pulling her close just as fiercely, leaning back so Carmilla sat up.

 

She shushed Carmilla, rocking her slightly, holding her in tight. The vampire cried into Danny's collar, soaking the remains of Danny's jacket. Finally Danny stood, lifting the vampire with her easily.

 

"Hold on to me, I'm gonna get us out," whispered Danny into Carmilla's ear. The vampire's arms stayed clamped around Danny's neck and her legs wound tightly around Danny's waist.

 

Awkwardly, Danny hauled them out of the grave, moving until there were several feet between them and the pit.

 

"Danny, how in the world are you here? I thought they'd killed you," asked Carmilla, her voice muffled against Danny's neck, although sounding much more like herself. She felt Danny shake her head.

 

"I promise I'll tell you the whole story, but not right now. No one knows Victor is dead and Adrianus is still on his way here. We need to put as many miles as possible behind us," she said seriously. Carmilla nodded and relaxed her hold on the Wolf. Danny stooped to snatch up her bow from the ground. Carmilla's brows raised in recognition.

 

"That bow and arrow set didn't happen to be what property was stored away in your abandoned building was it?" She asked. Danny flashed a small smile.

 

"It didn't feel right to keep them with me before, but I couldn't bring myself to part with them. Now I'm glad I didn't."

 

"This story you've got is a good one isn't it?"

 

"You've no idea. Let get asshole's keys and go."

 

And moments later, they were driving the truck away into the night.

 

They drove in silence for about an hour before Carmilla broke it.

 

“I’m not spending the rest of my life like this Danny,” she said quietly, although her voice was hard.

 

“What do you mean?” asked the Wolf.

 

“I’m tired of my past being used against me, against you. I’m tired of running. I’m tired of these assholes thinking they can take my most traumatic memories and revisit them upon me. We are _no one’s_ slaves, not even fear’s. I don’t care how you feel about him. I’m not running from Gregor ever again. Or Adrianus. They don’t matter nearly enough to have so much power over us,” said the vampire. Murder was the undercurrent of her voice. Danny nodded.

 

“You’re right. I was scared before, but not anymore. Or at least, I know challenging them is something we have to do,” replied Danny firmly. Carmilla looked at Danny appraisingly, but said nothing. She didn’t know what had changed Danny in the hours they’d been apart but she was thankful for the intervention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, thank you for reading.
> 
> Just a couple of things:  
> 1) If you're a Tamora Pierce fan and the Artemis scene reads familiar to say, Alanna's first encounter with the Great Mother Goddess...my bad. It's not copied at all (I swear), but upon rereading, I definitely saw the similarities. It goes without saying that I neither own nor profit from Tortall or Carmilla related properties
> 
> 2) I've really enjoyed the Carmilla fanfiction I've read that employs Artemis as a tool/influence on Danny, and so I've borrowed the idea for my own purposes.


	9. Chapter 9

The smell of old blood on the ground displeased Adrianus. It was a waste, so much blood spilled and unconsumed. Adrianus hated waste.

 

Adrianus was a vision in a black and grey suit, polished pointed black shoes carefully avoiding the dead bodies and upturned dirt. Long blond hair was pulled into a ponytail. His eyes glowed pure red against ageless pale skin.

 

"It seems you called me here to observe a mess Gregor," he said mildly. Gregor growled lightly.

 

"I called you because we had the Karnstein girl," he said.

 

"Had being the imperative word," he remarked. "Gregor are you aware of how strict my instructions were? I'm not to be bothered unless it's my sister."

 

"It is your sister. Allied with a rogue Wolf," said Gregor tightly. Adrianus nodded solemnly.

 

"You let her get away," said Adrianus quietly, almost sadly.

 

"We followed your advisement. She was in the coffin, buried under the earth. It was that Wolf," said Gregor, almost whining. Almost. Adrianus unnerved the old werewolf but damn it if he’d act completely like a whipped puppy.

 

"So still your fault then. You've had chances to dispatch her, but still she persists. And now it’s my problem.” Adrianus’s voice was light and musical, almost ethereal.

 

“Look around you Adrianus. I’ve lost several of my Pack to these two, including my oldest and best Lieutenant,” Gregor growled angrily.

 

“Which should fuel your drive to kill your Wolf and return Mircalla to me.” Adrianus walked back to the grey SUV that waited for him. His lean form seemed to absorb the already limited light, making the air seem darker.

 

"I'll be seeing you soon Gregor. Now that I've left home, I see the world has changed some. I shall use this as an educational opportunity. In the meantime, I leave you David," A dark skin vampire with a shaved head stepped forward. He was dressed much more casually than his master, in jeans and t shirt despite the cold. Thick black leather boots protected his feet.

 

"David will assist you in locating your Wolf and Countess Karnstein. You'll afford him every courtesy I'm sure." Gregor ground his teeth at the imposition but knew better than to argue. A few moments later, Adrianus's party was pulling away from the dead Wolves and abandoned town.

 

In the vehicle Adrianus sighed. He uncorked an ornate silver flask and swallowed from it, relishing the metallic taste that flooded his mouth.

 

"We are close Adrianus," said Cecil, the driver. He was the personal servant of Adrianus, never seen without his master. He had coal black hair that hung in curls cut close to his head. His eyes too always glowed red.

 

"Indeed we are. It's been too long since I've seen herdc c. And well, there's so much to discuss," he said quietly.

 

"She will not come quietly. She is different than when we knew her," remarked Cecil.

 

"Good. It took her long enough to grow a spine. Unfortunately for her, I will have to crush it, of course. Blood for blood. Mother would have it no other way. But, her willfulness commendable. She will be home with us again soon. I don’t have faith in Gregor. I want Mircalla’s dog too."

 

“It shall be done. She should have stayed hidden,” replied Cecil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I know this chapter is short so I'm uploading the second to last one as well.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just the bit of fluff in the aftermath of survival and the pending future.

"So gods touched huh?" Asked Carmilla.

"That's what she said," replied Danny softly. Carmilla shifted slightly, tucking herself more securely into Danny's side. The pair sat on the hotel roof. Carmilla wasn't ready to be inside yet, only now really calming from the experience in the coffin and the overwhelming relief that Danny was alive. Danny held her close.

"It makes sense that she wouldn't let Mother have you. I'm glad she didn't," said Carmilla quietly.

"Are you admitting you like that I'm a Wolf?" Asked Danny, teasing in her voice. Carmilla rolled her eyes.

"You'll never hear it from my lips Beanstalk. But I'm more so glad Mother never really had her hooks in you. She'd have had trouble keeping a leash on you," she said quietly, the barest hint of teasing.

"Leash jokes, you're hilarious. But I wasn't so independent when I came back. I know I hurt you, and Laura," remarked Danny quietly.

"Can't deny that no. But you were already snapping back to yourself before you left. Hell, it's why you left in the first place. You were angry, you had every right to be." Said Carmilla quietly. Danny hummed in acknowledgement. The excitement of the last few days had Danny wore out and it was all she could do to sit upright in against the exterior portion of the staircase.

"Danny?" Said Carmilla after some time. 

"Yeah?" If she was startled by the use of her first name she didn't let on. 

"That's the second time you've pulled me out of a pit and I realize I've never said thank you, either time. So, thank you. I know that it's never been easy for you," she said quietly. She could feel Danny nodding above her.

"I know better than to expect easy from you," said Danny.

"Hey," huffed Carmilla, feeling indignant. She felt Danny pull away some to look down at her.

"I'm kidding. Sort of. But joking aside, you're welcome. I didn't know what I was thinking the first time you know. The meaner, more selfish part of me didn't want to go down there. But you...you saved us, all of us. And Laura needed you so much. I couldn't stand seeing her like that. I was actually glad you came back, because she did too. This time around, there was no question," she said, half smile on her face. Carmilla looked up into her blue eyes, flecked with yellow, and allowed herself to get lost in them a little bit.

Danny leaned down and Carmilla leaned up.

"I don't," started Danny, frustrated. She didn't pull back, but let her forehead rest against Carmilla's. "I don't want to overstep boundaries, or pressure you into something you don't want just because it's an option, or the heat of the moment or whatever, and I, god, I'm in no way trying to repl-" but Carmilla held up a finger up to her lips to silence what promised to be an onslaught of words.

"Do you want this? Me, us, whatever this strange, and completely unexpected, thing is? Do you want it?" Asked Carmilla quietly, seriously. Danny paused for a minute.

Because there was something there. For over a decade Danny had floated through the world, hurting and untethered. Purposeless and hopeless. And then Carmilla had come into her life to anchor her down. And the vampire, in the greatest of ironies, made her feel alive. Things mattered again, and Carmilla was the center of it all in Danny’s mind. For the first time in a very long time, Danny felt as though were she was – exhausted, hunted, with Carmilla tucked safely against her – was exactly where she needed to be.

"Yes," she finally said. "When they took you, it was like every good thing left for me in the world went with you. And I realized I couldn't be without you. I want you because you're kind and brave and patient and probably the only person in the entire world who sees me for me," she said quietly.

"They took me and I was sure I would never see you again. Sure that I had failed at doing the one thing that Laura asked for. But it wasn't that I tried and failed Laura. It was that I failed you too. I'm here, with you, because I want to be. Because you bring out the part of me that isn't twisted and bitter and angry. I'm a better version of myself around you." Carmilla paused, taking a deep breath. She reached forward and grabbed Danny's hand.

"You are by no means a replacement for Laura. You could never. The Cupcake was perfect and too good for both of us," Danny chuckled at that. "You're Danny Lawrence. You're reckless and brave like she was. But you're also grounded and steadfast. Well, bull headed. You love even if means you tear your own heart out in the process," she said. She backed her head away to cup Danny's cheeks with both her palms.

"I will never get over her," said Carmilla seriously, because Danny needed to know. "When she died, I died all over again. I became a bloodthirsty monster again. It's my default. But, I came back to life again when I found you. And the fact that it was Laura who pushed me here tells me that no matter how different we are, no matter how much we bicker, or make stupid cat and dog jokes, no matter how unplanned this was- it's good. And I’m tired of walking away from good things."

Carmilla was done talking now. Her throat was sore with emotion and unshed tears. Her eyes were closed now. She felt Danny's hands close around the lapels of her jacket and pull her towards her.

Their lips met in a simple, slow kiss. Carmilla was mildly taken aback by how equal parts normal and electric the connection felt. As though this, this moment, this closeness, was in the most absolute way possible, exactly where she needed to be. She moved her hands from Danny's cheeks to wrap around her neck, opening her mouth, inviting Danny to deepen the kiss.

Rather than allow Carmilla to pull her down, she leaned back, easily bringing the girl with her, pulling her into her lap. Her hands dropped to Carmilla's waist and she opened her mouth to swallow Carmilla's small gasp of surprise at the sudden pressure.

They stayed stuck in that moment, focused, zeroed in on each other, on the feel of impossibly soft lips against chapped, hands reaching down and exploring just the barest hints of exposed skin. It was unrushed, as though they had all the time in the world.

Before too long, Danny felt her exhaustion flee her and be replaced by a growing sense of want. Sensing the subtle change in the Wolf, Carmilla smirked and dragged the tip of one of her sharpened incisors along Danny's lower lip; enough to scratch, but not break skin. She felt Danny's growl start deep in her chest. Carmilla placed the palm of her hand against Danny's sternum just to feel the rumble and pulled away slightly, smirk still present.

"Got something on your mind Red?" Asked Carmilla, voice low and teasing. For good measure, she leaned in kissed the thrumming pulse point on Danny's neck, thrilled at the feel of the blood racing underneath. Then she bit down, not so softly (but dull teeth only. Because she didn’t fancy dying). The effect on Danny was immediate. Her breathing hitched, and strong hands raked down Carmilla's back under her shirt. Carmilla arched into sensation and then pulled herself in closer to Danny. She turned her head up to the taller girl's ear.

"You want to maybe, relocate?" She whispered, her breath caressing Danny's ear. A shiver shot through Danny's spine at the sensation. She swallowed thickly. Her arms tightened around Carmilla's waist and the vampire's arms went around her neck.

"Are you sure?" Asked Danny, because she had to know. Because this wasn't a step over a line, this was a jump off a cliff. And Danny was ready to dive, but only if Carmilla would fall with her.

"If you don't take me, I'll just take you," replied Carmilla, shooting for nonchalant and almost making it. She faltered she saw the devious grin on Danny's face and amber and blue glowing eyes.

"Maybe later," replied Danny before capturing Carmilla's lips in a kiss that was all passion. Carmilla responded in kind and then, to her mortification, squeaked when Danny suddenly stood up, Carmilla still secured in her arms. Instinctively, Carmilla's legs wrapped around the tall girl's waist.

"Not nice Lawrence," she grumbled. Danny leaned in to kiss Carmilla's neck, and whispered, "I'll make it up to you," before striding to the entrance back to the stairwell.

 

Carmilla sat in the chair of the room looking at Danny's sleeping form with a mix of awe and gratitude. Danny was sprawled out on her stomach, one long arm draped over the side of the bed, bare back exposed to the waist, long red her fanned out about her shoulders.

Carmilla had wondered what being with Danny's might be like. She couldn't help it, the red head was practically an Amazoness, all steel and legs and curves. But it wasn't just sheer physical attraction. It was something deeper, a connection Carmilla couldn't quite put into words yet. But whatever the newfound feeling was, it made her feel steady. Like the woman asleep on the bed was the counter balance she hadn't realized she was missing.

Quietly, Carmilla got up from the chair and moved back to the bed, sitting down and really looking at Danny, watching her back rise and fall gently with her breath. Carmilla's heart clenched. She'd known Danny had suffered, the redhead had told her as much. But now, in the glow of the afternoon sun, Carmilla took in the story the marred skin before her told.

Gently, Carmilla’s fingers traced the scars that lined Danny's back. They were countless. Perhaps the angriest was the one left by the knife blade that had resided in her flesh for five years. But there were more, long thin scars that told of knife cuts, angry gouges that might've been lashes. Carmilla was running her fingers over a particularly jagged scar that ran from the junction of Danny's right shoulder and neck down and across her spine when she felt the taller woman tense.

Carmilla smoothed her hand over the scar, slowly running her hand back and forth, until the muscle relaxed. Carmilla leaned over and kissed along the scar. She continued her descent, leaving kisses on each marred and broken piece of skin, running her hands down Danny's sides to her waist.

Eventually, the taller woman groaned. Carmilla smiled into her back but didn't stop. Finally, Danny pushed herself up slightly, and looking over her shoulder, bleary eyed at Carmilla.

"Not awake enough for this Carm," she protested with a whine. Carmilla smiled and moved her way back up Danny's long frame to look her in the eye.

"Is the puppy still tuckered out?" She asked, teasing, her face barely an inch from Danny's. Rather than respond, Danny just closed the distance, catching Carmilla's lips with her own. She shifted to her side and pulled Carmilla down next to her, so the lay face to face. 

"Yes," said Danny by way answer, eyes shut again, pulling Carmilla in close against her body. Carmilla brushed Danny's hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear and placed a kiss on Danny's forehead.

She didn't know what was next, and really she never did. But for the first time in two years she was okay with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read! There's only one more chapter after this and I'm so thankful you've hung in there with me.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla and Danny visit Laura together.
> 
> Just a short epilogue to tie everything together.

Epilogue

It was warm again, finally. The sunset over the hill was breathtaking, blazing oranges and reds and yellows. Carmilla loved the view. It was peaceful. She was standing a little away from the tombstone, allowing Danny to have as private a moment as she needed with Laura.

Her eyes were closed, enjoying the breeze and the warmth when she felt Danny's hand in hers. She looked up at the redhead to see her wiping away a few tears. Carmilla reached up to do it and pulled her down and kissed her chastely on the lips.

"You okay?" She asked quietly. Danny nodded and laughed a little.

"I should be asking you that, not the other way around," she muttered. Carmilla shrugged.

"I've had a little bit more time," was all she said.

She walked up to the tombstone, pulling Danny along with her. Danny did hold back just a little bit and Carmilla approached kneeling down.

"I did what you asked Cupcake. I'm sorry it took so long. But thank you. I love you," she said, leaning forward to kiss the warm stone, fingers tracing the outlines of the engraving.

"Hey, what's this?" Asked Danny. Carmilla looked up at her. She'd moved to be behind the stone and something had caught her attention. She moved forward and pulled something off the back of the tombstone. It was several strips of dark grey duct tape that matched the stone color close enough that it couldn't be seen from a distance. Pulling it away revealed an envelope kept safe from the elements by the tape.

"Carm," Danny breathed, eyes wide, extending the tape and envelope to Carmilla. Carmilla grabbed it. Her name was written on the front, the handwriting all too familiar. She pulled out a letter. She glanced up at Danny, and then down at letter and read:

_Dear Carmilla,_

_Hey beautiful. I miss you. I hope it hasn't been too long. If I'm as right as I think I am, Danny is standing somewhere nearby. I'll savor this as the biggest I told you so. Ever._

_Please know how much I love you. Sometimes life is unfair. But if you think about it, after what happened at Silas, we were on precious, borrowed time anyway. The ten years with you were the fullest I could've ever hoped for and if I knew how much time we didn't have, I would've done it all again,_ _exactly the same_ _way._

_I told you that I would regret leaving knowing I hurt someone. That was true, but only part of the reason I asked you to find Danny. I know that if I gave you any other reason to find her aside from doing it for me, you wouldn't (because, yes, you are that whipped). But really, I struggled the most with the idea that you would be alone. And that would be the real tragedy._

_You deserve happiness Carmilla Karnstein. No matter what you think, you deserve happiness and love. And the only person in the world that could possibly love you as much as you deserve is Danny Lawrence. You're two sides of the same coin. You're both fiercely loyal, and strong, and brave, and selfless. You care differently, but with the same intensity. And you're both_ _freakin_ _immortal._

_Let Danny love you Carm. She has a big heart and_ _has to_ _point it somewhere. I didn't understand Danny as well as I could have, not that first year of school. I get it now; she's the kind of person who feels without reservation. It's why she brought you back to me (something for which I will never be able to thank her enough for). Love her, because you need someone to care about and someone who cares about you. The past ten years were probably_ _pretty rough_ _for her. She needs you Carm._

_You are the best thing I've ever been able to call mine. And I want you to be happy. Danny will make you happy, and you will make her happy. You both deserve the best of everything.  Tell her I love her, and that I am so, so thankful that she's there with you._

_With all the love I've ever had,_

_Laura_

_PS: I asked my dad to leave this here for you, that you'd find it when you were ready. Remind him he's the best, please?_

Carmilla smiled, tears streaming down her face, and she followed Laura's careful handwriting, rereading the words. She chuckled at parts and looked up at Danny, who was watching her with unabashed fondness in her eyes. 

Carmilla threw her arms around Danny's waist and squeezed tight. Danny hugged her back, for all she was confused.

"All good things?" She asked noncommittally. She felt Carmilla nod her head.

"Yeah. Here, read," said Carmilla offering Danny the letter. Danny looked at it hesitantly.

"I don't want to intrude," she started. Carmilla smiled up at her and shook her head.

"She would've wanted you to read it, please," said Carmilla. Carmilla kept her arms squeezed around Danny and the taller woman just rested her chin on the top of Carmilla's head while she read. Carmilla smiled, listening to Danny chuckle and sniffle as she read.

"She would claim the biggest I told you so ever," muttered Danny with a smile.

"She knew this would happen. All of it, she called it. Wanted it," said Carmilla in wonder.

"She was always the best like that," said Danny quietly. Carmilla nodded, blotting a few more tears out on Danny's shirt. After some more time and affectionate fingers and small kisses on the tombstone, Danny and Carmilla walked away, Carmilla tucked under Danny's arm and Laura's letter clutched in her fist.

"So where to next?" Asked Danny after a while. "After a visit with Mr. Hollis of course." Carmilla thought about it.

"The logical thing to do would be to stay away from Europe. I don’t think my brother has crossed the Atlantic in centuries," replied Carmilla. Danny nodded.

"But?" She said.

"There are crazy werewolves and now vampires looking for us. And who's to say they won't find us here. And who says they care about collateral damage." 

Danny smiled.

"So go right back to our enemies for fear they'll hurt anyone in their way to get what they want? Two against god knows how many? An unwinnable fight?" She asked. Carmilla smiled into the dying light, fangs flashing.

"I knew you'd be on board."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, a very huge thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and offer feedback on this. It was a lot of fun to write and share. Just a few parting notes:
> 
> 1- I only discovered Carmilla at the end of last year, so I'm nowhere near over it
> 
> 2- Not being over it means there will probably (definitely) be a sequel to this (eventually).

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading Ch. 1! I'm super stoked about this because writing it was fun and it's FINISHED (barring some minor editorial tweaks here and there). So there shall be updates at regular-ish intervals.
> 
> Let me know what you think and of course, thanks for your time.


End file.
